pilgrim-soulinyou:

jeremyyyallan:

fagraklett:

Chinese emperor Ai of Han, fell in love with a minor official, a man named Dong Xian, and bestowed upon him great political power and a magnificent palace. Legend has it that one day while the two men were sleeping in the same bed, the emperor was roused from his sleep by pressing business. Dong Xian had fallen asleep across the emperor’s robe, but rather than awaken his peaceful lover, the Emperor cut his robe free at the sleeve. Thus “the passion of the cut sleeve” became a euphemism for same-sex love in China. — R.G.L.

get you a dude who will fuck up his own clothing for you

NO OKAY THIS IS REALLY COOL SO SHUT UP AND LISTEN KIDS. Ancient China was super chill about homosexuality okay. Like we have gay emperors and feudal lords, lesbian princesses who were girlfriends with their serving maids, gay ass poets who wrote lots of poems about that one courtesan who played the guzheng so well.

In fact homosexuality was so okay that in Shiji, which is basically the Bible of Ancient Chinese history, there is an entire section dedicated to the gay lovers of emperors. What’s the best part? All the laws and criticism about homosexuality in Ancient China were all about shit like prostitution and rape. These laws were  outlawing homosexual stuff were all very specific.

For example, there were laws banning male prostitution, but no laws against homosexuality. These laws were passed to stop the spread of prostitution and laws targeting prostitution in general were pretty common in Chinese history. There were also really strict laws about male rape. Rape was punishable by death, regardless of the gender of the victim. Rape a girl, you die. Rape a guy, you die. Have sex with a minor, you die regardless of whether it was consensual. The lightest sentence you could get was slavery where you were bound to the army.

Also scholars wrote essays criticising the boyfriends of emperors, saying that they distracted the emperor from work blah blah blah but THEY ALSO DID THE SAME FOR THE CONCUBINES. That’s right – the issue wasn’t homosexuality but rather the hormones of the emperor. They didn’t care about the gender of the emperor’s favourite lover but rather the fact that the emperor was too horny to get shit done.

“But WAIT, Modern China is a hardass about homosexuality!!!! How do you explain that!”

Yes. That. That’s because of the late Qing years where Western influences entered the country and brought their gross ass homophobic attitudes with them. And the Qing government was so anxious to seem modern and be seen as equals to their Western counterparts. So they adopted Western ways and discarded their previous attitudes about homosexuality. Hence you have Modern China.

So the next time someone tries to tell you that being LGBT is wrong because it goes against traditional Chinese values, tell them to go fuck themselves with 3000 years of Chinese queerness. 

raejin99:

prokopetz:

Fun fact: cats don’t just wiggle their butts before they pounce out of excitement – they’re also making tiny adjustments to the position of their feet in order to more precisely aim the ensuing lunge.

Or, in other words: your cat is calibrating.

Loading pounce.exe

Initiating…

Analyzing target coordinates

Trajectory adjustments required, initiate calibration protocol wigglebutt.exe

Wiggling…

Wiggling…

Calibration complete. Initiating pounce in 3…

2…

1…

Pounce initiated

Results: Slammed head first into wall. Please debug wigglebutt.exe

islandnymph:

justjengie:

hersheyhipster:

the-pareidolia-paradigm:

you have been visited by the seven magic dragon balls
your biggest wish will be granted but only if you reblog

Couldn’t risk it.

didn’t realize they change colors. now I know o gotta wish.

THIS SHIT IS REAL I GOT THE JOB I WAS NUTS ABOUT BC I REBLOGGED THIS YESTERDAY
maybe it’s a coinkidink but it okay just take the necessary steps to achieve what you’re wishing for and YOU CAN DO IT

eggtrolls:

god I’m absolutely going to hell I’m sorry guys 

I was at my friend’s engagement party yesterday and everyone was about to do cheers with these nasty ass shots of blue tequila but I don’t drink and I especially do not drink tequila, blue or otherwise, so I grabbed a piece of bread from the basket on the table and just tapped it against people’s glasses like it was a legitimate beverage instead of a wheat byproduct 

and one of my friends was like ‘ho what in god’s name are you doing’ 

and I didn’t know how to say I would rather slice off my own foot than drink tequila so I just held my bread up and said ‘I’m toasting’ 

and in that moment I felt my soul descend directly into the eighteenth circle of hell