My friend turned 29 today.
For his birthday, he hosted several “challenges” to set our stats – contests of strength, agility, wisdom, etc. (constitution was how well we could bear eating spicy salsa, intelligence was nerdy trivia, etc)
Based on our final stats, he assigned characters – heroes of various types, or goblins.
We then went out and played “live” DND.
Everyone here is between ages 23 and 29.
Anyway, if someone says adulthood means abandoning ridiculous parties and fun times with your friends they’re full of shit.
Okay so here’s the thing. I love dogs. Dogs are amazing wonderful creatures. But we have to stop acting like dogs are perfect, or safe to be around every one and every thing.
I just watched a gif of a man walking his dog when they came upon kittens. The dog immediately lunged – only to have the mother cat barrel in and scare the dog off. I was furious, because the owner sat and watched as his dog lunged at a kitten – and had to be beaten off of it by its mother.
In the comments people were discussing it, saying “That dog just wanted to play! He wasn’t going to actually *hurt* the kitten!”
And I’d really like us to stop this.
“He just wants to say hi,”
“he’s just trying to play”
are two phrases commonly said by people who do not understand their dogs behavior, and make excuses for them.
That dog did not want to play. When dogs want to play, they change their body language and start using different behavior – most obviously the play bow. They sniff first, and get introductions out of the way. If your dog lunges for something the moment they set its eyes on it – they do not want to play. Just imagine, if you were a kid who had never met someone before and they just straight up attacked you. That would be different from someone walking up and saying “hey, do you wanna play/wrestle?”
And here’s the thing. There’s nothing wrong with that dog, it just should not be allowed around animals smaller than it. Cats, hamsters, rabbits, hedgehogs, even toy breeds of dogs, I wouldn’t consider safe. And thats OK! You can have a perfectly happy life with your dog never harming any animals as long as you know this and make sure to pay attention. But if that dog harms a kitten or other small animal, I blame the owner, who should have known better.
We have to be responsible owners and know our dogs. And as people, we need to stop making excuses for other animals and instead do our best to make sure everyone in the situation is safe, not just the dog who “just wants to play” or “was just trying to say hi”, while barreling straight for something.
Just because you love your dog doesn’t mean its not aggressive in specific situations. Doesn’t mean its safe for all to be around. Doesn’t mean its incapable of fault.
These horrific, sexist, racist paragraphs – screenshotted and shared for posterity by James Smythe, to whom we are all indebted – are the work of one Liam O’Flynn, a writer and English teacher. Evidently, they come from his book Writing With Stardust: the Ultimate Descriptive Guide for students, parents, teachers, and lovers of English, and are intended as examples of good writing.
UM.
Dear white male writers: DO NOT DO THIS SHIT. IT IS SUPER GROSS AND FETISHISTIC AND ALSO TERRIBLE WRITING. THIS IS WHY WE CAN’T HAVE NICE THINGS.
Like I just. “Her virility-brown eyes -” WHAT DOES THIS EVEN MEAN? How can you have an “Amazonian figure”ON a “wafer-thin body” when “figure” is a word that describe’s a body’s shape, and Amazonian means pretty much the DIRECT FUCKING OPPOSITE of “wafer-thin” in the first place?
What the shitting fuck does ANY of this mean, apart from “I am only nebulously familiar with the concept of women and completely at a loss if I can’t compare their various bodyparts to jewels, animals and footstuffs”?
STOP
GO TO WRITING JAIL
GO DIRECTLY TO WRITING JAIL, DO NOT PASS GO, DO NOT COLLECT $200
tag yourself i’m the two beryl-green jewels in the snow
if her ears frame her nose do they like, grow directly beside her nose? how does she see from them?
*facepalm*
“
Writing With Stardust: the Ultimate Descriptive Guide for students, parents, teachers, and lovers of English
“
lovers of english
oh my goddddddd
i can’t get over this fucking post
“I loved her nebulous, eden-green eyes which were a-sparkle with the ‘joie de vivre’. They were like two beryl-green jewels melted onto snow.”
1. what the fuck is joie de vivre
2. melted jewels?
3. beryl green
eden green:
WHICH ONE IS ITTTTTTTTT
@laughlikesomethingbroken “Joie de vivre” is a French phrase that literally translates to “joy of living”, while it IS one of those phrases that gets used in English in this context it is SO EXTRA AND UNNECESSARY OH MY GOD. Don’t use French to make yourself sound sophisticated when you’re NOT
I don’t know where to even START. Curvilinear waist? Sugar candy-sweet? What the FUCK are seraph’s ears? Voguish clothes? What the everloving fuck is “constellation blue” supposed to mean??? Like forget the objectification, this writing is horrifying enough before we even get to the embedded sexism
seraph’s ears are ears that you can’t see bc they’re hidden behind her 6 wings
Oyster white teeth?
holy purple prose batman
Female writers do this too. Have you read a Mills and Boon novel? Have you read high school girls’ yaoi fanfics?
Uh oh, we were focusing too much on how a grown man is selling this shit and not enough shitting on teenage girls. Egalitarians here to put an end to that shit.
Guess what? I’ve read A LOT of Harlequin novels and a LOT of fanfic and I have never ever seen anything this horrible at description.
Also, none of those stories were trying to hold themselves up as high examples of the craft
You guys here is the description of the book on Amazon.
If this is the description I cannot think how bad the inside is.
I never ever want to hear anyone make fun of fanfic writers again
NEVER EVER
Lord god almighty. I’ve been feeling really down about my writing lately, but this is a confidence boost. 8I
So I went for a quick walk to the corner store near me to pick up a couple of things.
The person who owns the store is an older Muslim man. He’s always been nothing but friendly, to the point of letting me take the stuff I had planned to buy with the promise of paying him back once when my card didn’t work.
Today I walked in and got my stuff, stepped up to the counter, and started to say hi. Then he turned around, motioned for me to wait a moment, and continued with what he was doing. It was only then I realized he was in the middle of his prayers.
So I waited at the counter for a few minutes. Then he picked up his mat and put it away, came over, and gave me a free corny dog to thank me for my patience (and because we’re pals).
This is My America, or at least the way I want it to be.
Diversity. Acceptance. Friendship. And bonding over unhealthy fried food.
this is so amazing thank you
This is what America should be. Thank you for sharing this, it’s a nice reminder that there is still good in this world.
theclumsiestninja 