military worship in this country is out of fucking control
excuse me?
military worship in this country is out of fucking control
Yea you’re right, we shouldn’t honor the people willing to risk their life to save ours and defend our country … oh
Military worship in this country is out of fucking control
I’m in the military and yes it’s out of fucking control. Most of the people I know in the military feel the same way. You civilians need to calm the fuck down. Most of us joined in our teens or early twenties. For a lot of us it was because we needed a job, and we didn’t see any other options, and this job has good benefits, especially for an uneducated young person in America. We get healthcare and education!! That’s some tempting fucking fruit. But this is a JOB. Some people in the military become heroes, that’s true. Jumping on grenades, defusing bombs, dragging a wounded person from the middle of a firefight. They usually end up dead in the process. Those people deserve respect, in my opinion. They give their lives for their friends, no matter whether or not you agree with the policies that put them there in the first place. But a lot of people in America reflexively claim that everyone in the military is a hero, full stop. This isn’t true and it lets people look the other way when something is actually wrong in the military, because it’s the military, they’re heroes, they can do no wrong.
We’re doing a job, and a lot of us are never really put in harm’s way. I work in a climate controlled lab for 8 hours a day, for instance. Really grueling. Such a hero. This fawning lip service of an infallible military doesn’t do us any good. I know people who have bought into it, who have heard so many people tell them that they’re heroes that they actually believe it, and they are the stupid and dangerous ones. Joining the military does not make you a hero, and calling us heroes might make you feel all warm and fluffy and red white and blue but it doesn’t do anything for the people that end up on the streets with PTSD or come home with life-changing injuries or in a box. We’re human beings, not some concept that you can just mindlessly adulate and then feel better about yourself.
☝️🏽☝️🏽☝️🏽☝️🏽
oh boy just in time for the 4th of July
Speaking as a disabled veteran: it’d be one thing if the fucking hero worship MEANT ANYTHING. But it’s a bunch of empty loud words about how Brave and Noble everyone in the military is (nah some of us are assholes) and then when it comes to, oh I don’t know, paying a soldier enough to feed their family without food stamps, or giving disability compensation without a NIGHTMARE fight with the country that claims to “care” so much. Plus the whole “sending us off to kill other people to make rich men richer while innocents die for it” thing. It’s not “defending freedom” to shove our troops into everyone’s business in countries that happen to have oil and such
Military worship isn’t only annoying, it’s a hollow lie that’s basically dangerous to everyone
I have a story to share, and I hope it makes you smile.
Once upon a time, when I was about three years old, my parents took me on a vacation to England. I’ve been told it was great. We saw the sights, did the standard touristy things, and one of our stops included the Wedgwood Factory. Alas, a three-year-old and Wedgwood is a terrible combination, so my dad was nice enough to wait with me outside while my mom explored the factory.
My mom had a grand time, seeing what there was to see, but there came a point when she started to notice people drifting over to the windows. As more people wandered over, curiosity set in. What was all the fuss about? She reached the window just in time to see her husband and her daughter take their places, one on each side of a giant empty parking lot.
Father and daughter dramatically swung their arms to the right and sang, “Shall!”
We swung our arms to the left. “We!”
We flung our arms wide. “Dance?”
We ran to the middle and proceeded to perform a fully choreographed rendition of “Shall We Dance” from The King and I that we’d just made up, full of passion and flair that would have rivaled a Broadway production. Father twirled his 3-year-old daughter. Daughter jumped into her father’s arms and sang with all her heart. The entire parking lot was ours, and we used every inch of it.
I should clarify, my father is NOT a dancer. At all. He is a master of the jerky dad moves and can’t straighten his limbs to save his soul, but he has energy, and he performed the role of daughter’s Broadway dance partner without any shame.
By the time my mom finished up and came outside, we’d gone through a whole repertoire, from King and I to Oklahoma to Sound of Music. Mom came outside just as we finished up one of our songs. When we looked her way, she pointed up to the Factory.
Every single window on every single floor was packed with people, workers and customers alike, and they were all applauding with giant smiles on their faces. I’m told my father turned bright red.
Hope this made you smile, too. Thanks for the dance, Dad.
everyone knows dragons aren’t real. any scientist will tell you that tales of giant flying beasts wreaking havoc from the sky is a total made up myth for little babies and also it’s not true.
but today, I’m going to let you in on a little secret:
scientists can be liars sometimes.
welcome to an all-new episode of Weird Biology and today, you are going to learn about a fucking dragon.
FIRE AND BLOOD! FIRE AND BLOOD! FIRE AND BLOOD!
even though it looks like a creature straight out of medieval myth, the Bearded Vulture is (allegedly) a bird! also called the Lämmergeier or Ossifrage (both metal as shit but difficult to pronounce), the Bearded Vulture can be found in mountain ranges across Europe and Asia.
but before we get much further, I need to give you a proper sense of scale. Bearded Vultures
have wingspans of up to nine feet, weigh up to 17 pounds and can be almost four feet tall.
this fucking thing is at eye-level to a third grader.
like 8-year-olds don’t have enough problems already. jesus.
and not only are they fucking huge, they’re they’re also smart. like, crows are smart, right? imagine a four foot tall crow with knives for feet, the face of a velociraptor and a sheer delight in anarchy. that’s the Bearded Vulture.
Bearded Vultures have complex social structures and advanced personal relations, but their intelligence shines best in the way they hunt.
yes, hunt. most vultures on the planet will only deign to eat things that have already died on their own, but the Bearded Vulture will sometimes… cut out the middleman. so to speak.
and then they eat him.
unlike other birds of prey, Bearded Vultures don’t rely on their claws to get a meal. instead, they have adopted a much more efficient and game-breaking method.
imagine you’re hiking alone through the mountains when suddenly HOLY SHIT a feathery dragon swoops out of nowhere and knocks you right the fuck off a cliff to your tragic and untimely death. it sounds like something from a Game of Thrones episode, but this regularly happens to tortoises, goats, and and in one really strange instance a monitor lizard.
nobody ever said nature was nice.
after the prey has met its doom via physics engine abuse, the Bearded Vulture swoops down for a meal and is promptly sued by George R. R. Martin for copyright violation.
(ha ha! this was a joke! a funny joke! PLEASE DO NOT SUE ME, MR. MARTIN!)
seriously though, one of the most interesting and alarming aspects of the Bearded Vulture (out of many, so many) is their diet. once they have either found or “helped make” a carcass, they get down to business: they eat the bones, and only the bones.
that’s probably the most metal fact I’ve ever listed about a bird and I have listed a LOT of bird facts.
it’s right there in the name, “Ossifrage”, which means “bone-breaker”. (and that’s the SECOND most metal fact I’ve ever listed about a bird, by the way.)
Bearded Vultures are the only bird whose diet is almost exclusively bones. like, we’re talking 85%-90% here. it’s a very high number.
they swallow smaller bones whole, and crack the larger ones open by abusing physics again and flinging them off cliffs. it’s worth all that effort for the sweet sweet bone marrow hidden inside.
probably means they never have to worry about calcium deficiencies, either.
but most importantly, it means that Bearded Vultures have little to no direct competition! this cool bone-eating trick means that they’re the only predators in the area even interested in the stupid things. every other scavenger only wants the soft parts, meager fools that they are.
the only thing that a Bearded Vulture really needs to worry about is other Bearded Vultures. (and humans, but more on that later.) to ward other vultures off, they rub red dirt into their feathers and perform elaborate threat displays. the deeper and more visceral the red, the higher-status the vulture.
you can experience this effect yourself! simply dunk yourself in stage blood and then board your nearest public transportation device. the best seat is instantly yours! provided that nobody else is bloodier than you.
but all of this ridiculous dragon bullshit comes with a price.
in the middle ages, humans in europe were convinced that Bearded Vultures would: a) eat their sheep, and b) carry off and eat small children. (they were right about the sheep thing, to be fair.)
but because of these beliefs, frightened parents hunted down and slaughtered Bearded Vultures wherever they found them. and it turns out even an avian dragon is no match for projectile weapons.
the Bearded Vulture population in the Alps was completely wiped out by the 18th century.
nothing motivates multiple generations of a human population like “THIS THING WILL EAT MY CHILDREN”.
but there is good news! Bearded Vultures are much more appreciated these days, and they have been successfully reintroduced to the Alps. they’re still going strong in the Himalayas, and also Ethiopia.
let’s hope these real-world dragons stick around and terrorize future generations of humans with their blood red feathers and horrific table manners.
FIRE AND BLOOD! FIRE AND BLOOD! FIRE AND BLOOD!
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thanks for reading! you can find the rest of the Weird Biology series here.
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day and night. i was thinking about a member of the royal court who moonlights as a city guard… the constellations on her face are made up of her freckles!
theclumsiestninja 