the hottest study tip i will ever give: keep a tiny stapler on you. i bought a “craft stapler” for $4.99 at a marshalls my freshman year and perpetually kept it in my bag. the # of times i’ve been hailed as a goddess when fellow students are turning in mandatorily-stapled-papers would be payment enough, were it not for the # of times in college i’ve put 2 plastic plates of free luncheon food together & stapled the edges for a free tubberware. pls buy a tiny stapler
i’ve stolen at LEAST 35 chocolate chip cookies and 11 cheesecake brownies via this method
OKAY so I saw this a few days ago and was like “whatever” but then I smashed my phone in a car door, had to clean up some dead baby bunnies in my yard, and have just generally NOT had a good week. I’m fucking spooked and I’m reblogging this twice to get the universe to stop.
I ignored this too and then i got kicked out of my house. Also reblogging twice.
Not ignoring this dumbass shit when i got my exams
i would ignore this but i need all the good things to come back
Interviewer: where do you see yourself in 5 years?
Me: I used escapist fantasies as a coping mechanism to get through years of trauma and therefore never learned how to plan for a real life future
Alternatively: I went through periods of depression so frequent and intense that I never considered that I’d actually make it to my 20s so now I’m kinda just making it up as I go
Update: It is not, in fact, the Richards, who don’t actually have the surname Richard, that’s just the name of the eldest boy that I hear screamed over the fence all the time. Richard is probably nine, maybe 10 and his younger borthers are twins of seven becuase I happened to run into them on thier birthday. They pointedly refused to tell me thier names, instead giggling ominously after I introduced myself and running away. This is the gang of boys that I’ve had to stop from torturing small animals on more than one occasion, and whose mother is the one that gets crying-drunk on the front porch late at night.
Lovely family.
Around this time last year thier grandmother came to visit and gave them honest-to-goodness home-made black-powder Cherry bombs direct from Texas, which the boys immediately took to the most flammable patch of chaparral in the neighborhood and set off six of them at once, resulting in a small wildfire, seven emergency response units and a helicopter, a Long Stern talk from the fire department and Karen getting in a screaming match with Child Protective Services and a sizeable crater in the middle of the field.
At least according to Olivia the ER nurse and neighborhood gossip. I was out of town at the time and believe about 80% of that becuase I saw the crater where there had not been a crater a week before, and becuase karen threw a shoe at me the one time I asked if she was alright when she was having her weekly drunk-cry on the porch.
But I Digress.
The Airhorn in fact belongs to one of the ladies at the Old Folks Home. Diane is very excited about the upcoming NBA playoffs and was having a bit of a pre-celebration in the park with her family and hadn’t realized the noise would carry. She’s rooting for Golden State becuase that’s where her grandson goes.
theclumsiestninja 