bow-of-burning-gold:

dewshi:

mathdegree-striptease:

megatrcn:

pajarosdelamancha:

jamesandlilys:

digitalfare:

orriculum:

svynakee:

thirdtimecharmed:

altonzm:

french recipes: if you’re not making this in paris then what’s the point. fuck you

italian recipes: use the left leg meat of a pig from one of three farms in this specific area of tuscany, or from this day my grandmother will begin manifesting physically in your house

american recipes: buy these three cans of stuff and put them in a pan congrats you cooked

chinese recipes, as handed down from mother to child: season it with a pinch of this and some of that. you want to know the exact amount? feel it in your heart. ask the stars. yell into the void. 

English recipes: boil and salt it. Okay that’s it enjoy

Greek recipes: You followed all the right steps but this isn’t quite right. I don’t know what to tell you.

Australia recipes: chuck it on the barbie

Latinx recipes: you will never make it better than your abuela, face the facts

Filipino recipes: add rice and soy sauce and some more rice MORE RICE MORE RICE MORE

Irish-Canadian Recipes:

Boil ingredients until overcooked before even thinking of cooking with them. Add Hamburger Helper™.

finnish recipes:

add a teaspoon of Pirkka™ extremely fancy oil to your Pirkka™ extremely fancy mixture. season with Pirkka™ very fine sea and herb salt and enjoy your Pirkka™ potato garlic omelet quiche

Russian Recipes: If it does not have dill seasoning it, add dill. If it should not have dill in the recipe, add dill. If it already has dill seasoning it, add more dill. Dill? Dill.