I’m still entertained by the Michaels employee who tried to push their Rewards program by saying that non-members (me) would soon no longer receive coupons and that only Rewards members would get them, and then got huffy and bitchy at me when I said no, like I was missing out on the opportunity of a lifetime and that I would come back in to her store one day to grovel at her feet for my coupons back 

Meanwhile, I’m over here getting 5+ emails from Michaels a day, most of them being coupons for my non-Rewards self, and am seriously wondering how to get Michaels to stop sending me coupons and upcoming sale emails all the damn time 

(Like I get it, Michaels was probably pushing for her to get as many new Rewards members as possible, but she and I knew damn well that if Michaels tried to get rid of their coupons for non-members, a glitter-heavy riot would ensue from all the older ladies with their Sunday newspaper coupons and stressed-out moms with their shrieking kids, so her “sales pitch” was laughable at best)