bemusedlybespectacled:

bemusedlybespectacled:

nireblue:

jennytrout:

mistytang:

ivegotthetriforce:

deliciouspineapple:

annerocious:

Lesser known facts when writing women:

• High heeled shoes don’t become flats if you break the heels off.
• The posts of earrings aren’t sharp.
• Nail polish takes a long time to dry and smudges when wet.
• You can’t hold in a period like pee.
• Inserting a tampon is not arousing or sexual in any way, ever.

Feel free to add your own.

– Bras leave red marks on the skin under and around boobs and it is a magical experience when taken off.

– Make up can take anywhere from 5 to 25 minutes depending on how skilled you are.

– Taking hair out of a ponytail after wearing it for hours does not make it perfectly straight when it comes down.

– Hair when wet sticks to the skin it no longer flows, idiot.

-When women with long hair kiss, turn around, do anything, their hair falls in the way.

– Stockings are itchy and tear like wet paper bags.

– Pantyhose, tights, leggings, and stockings are each different.

– Waxing hurts and leaves red skin for a while afterwards while shaving leaves stubble

– Most can’t run in heels unless they have been VERY worn

– Insecurity in appearance doesn’t mean “buy me a drink”

– EVERYONE HAS DIFFERENT TASTES IN EVERYTHING

-Having large breasts sucks. It sucks beyond belief.  If a garment happens to fit your large chest, odds are it won’t fit the rest of you. Underboob sweat is real and terrible. Bending over for extended periods of time will tweak your back out. Running can be painful due to boob turbulence. Bras are hella expensive. Big breasts are not fun.

We have never, ever looked in a mirror and silently described our nude bodies to ourselves, especially the size/shape/weight/resemblance to fruit/etc. of our breasts.

Boob turbulence

Crying is ugly. It doesn’t just make your mascara run, it makes your eyes go all red and your face all blotchy.

People with long hair (and short hair, if they know what’s good for them) put conditioner in their hair after shampooing. This is an oily substance that makes the hair shiny and soft and easy to comb and brush.

No one’s laugh has ever sounded like the pealing of little silver bells. Some people snort or sound like strangled goats.

Menstrual blood generally doesn’t look like the blood that comes out of a cut, i.e. bright red and sort of watery. It can be dark red, brown, or even almost black-looking, and can be very similar in consistency to Jello.

Breaking a nail is PAINFUL. If this is difficult to understand, consider the amount of force created by a long lever (a long manicured nail) and inflicted on the sensitive nerds in the nail bed, as opposed to a short one.

Women do not need to have had older brothers or single fathers to have stereotypically masculine interests or skills.

I meant to write “nerves” and somehow got “nerds” what the fuck how did I miss that damn you autocorrect