The beautiful chaos of watching 12 frantic astrophysics students try to save a theoretical astronaut from falling into a black hole. I’ve never seen a group of people work so quickly and efficiently before.
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Carry a fork with you. If someone tries to rob you, pull the fork out of your pocket and say “thank you, Lord for this meal I’m about to have” and charge at them with the fork
[Video ID: A businessman is demonstrating cracking open a large nut by slamming his fist into it. The nut, having other ideas, breaks through the table instead upon being slammed, leaving a nut-sized hole. The businessman loses it.]
@kialessa I’m fucking losing it at this description fkdkdksks
Santa is on strike due to global warming. All presents this year will be delivered by Sasha the Christmas Tiger. Milk and cookies may not be sufficient.
The diner McCree is having his apple pie and coffee is deserted. Like, there’s no staff in there at all. And there should be.
Coffee is fresh and steamy, one cup ready to be served… but there’s no one.
The dishes are gathered, but they aren’t exactly dirty; or look like they’ve been in the sink for a very long time.
And the apple pie looks fresh and yummy.
All the above don’t indicate a place that was deserted for a long time. And even if this is a place where there’s simply not much traffic, one has to wonder… where’s the staff?
Did McCree do all this? Brewing the coffee I can buy. Putting on the song in the jukebox I can buy as well. But making the pie, putting it in the glass case, cutting up a piece and serving himself in a seat? No way.
Only explanation I can find (that doesn’t include “budget” or “because I say so”) is that McCree himself drove everyone away with his gun.
And then sat there, eating his pie and waiting for the train.
Why?
Because he had called the Deadlock Gang right before that to give them the tip.
The tip he refers to here:
“You’ve never been one to shy away from a good tip.”
And Ashe called McCree being there “awful convenient”.
So, McCree was the one who set it all up. He called them from the hanging phone, then drew his gun on everyone in the diner to send them away, since he knew that the Deadlock Gang would appear and it’d be dangerous for them. So, he acted like the Bad Guy for their safety.
He poured himself a cup of coffee, he sliced some apple pie and waited. Lo and behold, animated short begins.
“But why?”
The answer is simple. He says so himself.
“All I want is that crate.”
Echo. He did all of this to get Echo back.
Remember, Echo is Overwatch. Overwatch is outlawed still, even in this time of need. From McCree’s words, “They’re getting the band back together,” Winston has just sent the call and McCree recieved it. And he knew that Echo, for whatever reason, would be extremely useful and needed to Winston and the newly pieced back together Overwatch.
But, Overwatch is still illegal. And no one must know that it is getting back together, otherwise the people will be hunted down and arrested, no matter how noble Winston’s intentions are; the law is the law.
So, what is McCree supposed to do now that Overwatch needs help, has called for him specifically, he wants to help, he knows that Echo would be more useful than him and he needs to free her and send her to Winston without him ever be connected to it, because he’s a known ex-Overwatch member? Or, even better, an ex-Blackwatch member, the fraction that supposedly, put Overwatch in trouble in the first place?
How to steal Echo away from the government without linking himself, Overwatch/Blackwatch to it so that he can keep the return of the Overwatch a secret for as long as possible from any government?
Use the Deadlock Gang, of course.
This way, their presence is everywhere in the crime scene, they get the blame and both McCree and his connections to Overwatch/Blackwatch are erased. Echo goes back, he goes to fetch maybe another member in secret.
“Why would he get through so much trouble?”
He cares about Overwatch and believes in its mission, duh.
As for the complex nature of this whole operation… Jesse McCree was Blackwatch. Covert missions. Acting from the shadows, framing others and leaving no traces behind that it was him is exactly what Blackwatch used to do.
And all he’d have to face is the accusations that he pulled a gun to the people in the diner. Maybe. Which wouldn’t be a big deal for him; he’s already an outlaw.
For the needs of Rising Queens, I had to create an army. Since I’m an accountant and have never served in the military nor lived sometime between 1650 and 1820… I knew nothing about how to do that, so I researched, not a lot, but enough I think to give some tips and directions to anyone planning to do the same crazy thing.
Let’s get started. Please note this is for fantasy writers, a number of elements do not apply to modern or futuristic armies. (words with a * are translated in French at the end, because I’m a little chauvinist)
1. How big is your army ?
So, if your army is a professional army, in clear if soldiers are soldiers all year long and paid for it, the size of your army is limited. Mostly because resources are not infinite, and your army depends on the rest of the population to be fed. This rule would also apply for mercenaries, as your nation must still be able to pay them.
In consequence, its size should not be more than 1% of the population. This number was true in the past, and is still true today. And 1% is the upper limit, it assumes your nation is able to collect taxes efficiently!! If it’s not, your army must be smaller, or your nation will go bankrupt.
If your army is not professional, then the problem is a little different: your soldiers are no longer working all year long. The question is how big can your army be during x time? The longer the war/conflict lasts, the smaller your army will be, as your resources are limited and you need people to tend to the land. Or you can have a big starving army, your choice (or a starving population… or both…). After some research, it happens that number is 7% of the population for a period of 90 days (which was the length of a campaign season).
2. Support
So, yes, your soldiers are soldiering, or at least a part of them is… the rest is working as support, they are the spine of your army, without them everything could crumble. Without them you don’t have supplies, or meals, or doctors, or clothes, or payslips or…
Among the various support departments in military, we will first start with one that probably was the biggest: Supplies (aka Furir*). They originally were in charge of housing and food for men and animals, but over time they came to be in charge of all supplies, including their logistics. In the French Navy, they once were in charge of payslips. Without them, you don’t have food, but you also don’t have uniforms, weapons, or munitions…
While we are here, let’s note that most armies, while away from home, survived through plunder of the land around them. Which is great if you’re not staying in the same place too long, and if your enemy does not decide to burn everything left behind. Mercenaries, who were not paid by their employer, also plundered the land of their employer as a form of revenge.
The Postal Service* is like a web, they have a presence everywhere in the military organisation (including schools, jails, navy…). Not only do they make sure the letters are sent to the right person, but they also take care of censoring the letters of the soldiers. This is a job that require discretion as you might end up in the confidence of secrets that do not concern you nor the public.
The War Commissaries* are in charge of the administration of the army, which includes: finances, human resources, audit and control, law assistance, accounting. In some cases, Furir and Postal Services are also incorporated under their supervision.
One of the support functions we probably don’t think much about are the surgeons. Doctors, especially, surgeons were a priority on a battlefield. Mostly they acted after the battle, but they also took care of the soldiers all year long in a professional army. Military hospitals were created, some of them were used as medical schools too, and not all of them were situated in a military base. I haven’t been able to find if any ancient military hospital was opened to the public, but I personally don’t see why not. Generally each company (about 100 men) had one surgeon.
I will not discuss soldier being soldier, if you want more information on this, I will leave some links at the end of this article, please refer to it.
3. Army or Not ?
Some people, depending of your organisation, of your country, may be considered part of your army, even though their role is unrelated to the protection of the country against foreign forces, such as: police, spies, customs…
It really depends on how you see your organisation as a whole, and also who pay who, or what Minister these people depend from. For example, the police might be paid directly by the city thanks to local taxes, while customs are under the supervision of the Finance Minister, and spies answer directly to the Crown. Or you can incorporate them in your army.
4. Equipment
The main question in regards to equipment is who provides what. There have been times, when each soldier was expected to procure themselves their own equipment: armor and weapons, horse, sometimes even food. You could tell a soldier’s social background with just a look.
In some cases, the obligation to procure one’s own equipment was attached to citizenship. Only citizens were required by law to serve in the army, and to be citizen you were required to have a given level of revenues.
At all times, heavier weapons (for siege, and later canons) were provided by the State or the lords.
5. Hierarchy
There are two main type of hierarchies: hierarchical (or traditional) and flat. My partner could tell you all about the advantages and disadvantages of both in details (and how mixed/new models exist), but for our purposes let’s keep it simple.
Here is a drawing of both systems:
The bigger your army is, the less likely your hierarchy will be flat, for the very simple reason that your general in chief (or king, or whatever their actual title is) cannot be everywhere at once and has to delegate their power to keep the whole system working. In fact, at some point, the higher men in the hierarchy become strategists and/or administrators. Furthermore, if the official leader of your army is indeed the king, they might still need to delegate as 1) they are running a kingdom, and might need the time for something else, 2) they are very bad at leading an army (not everybody can be Frederic II or Napoleon…).
Next thing to determine is the numbers of levels in your hierarchy. I would advise to keep it as simple as possible. As an example, in Rising Queens, my army has 7 levels of hierarchy (including the soldiers without rank). Each rank correspond to an unity (i.e. company, regiment…). I merely added some nuances to distinguish some Navy ranks: a General and an Admiral have the same rank, but the later serves in the Navy.
If you want to get an idea of what ranking system you can implement, I would suggest you hit Wikipedia, as they have the organisations of a few armies listed. Just never forget reality is always more complex than fiction.
6. Magic
If you have magic in your universe, consider how it changes war strategy and organisation.
And since someone wrote extensively on the subject, allow me to redirect you to @warsofasoiaf post, right here.
Don’t hesitate to drop me a message for questions, clarifications or comments 🙂
My students are taking a midterm. And I’m shaking with laughter. Fuck. Too real. This post ruined my illusion of being a stoic teacher proctoring an exam.
not to take a joke post seriously but this is literally the ideal period humor because
1.) no gendered language
2.) no assumption that people only use tampons (weirdly prevalent??? in discussions about periods)
theclumsiestninja 