theclumsiestninja

hunlarpfag:

The best parts I like about old treaties is when the masters teach you some real, everyday life survival skills / advice, sometimes oddly specific.
I’m talking about the REAL stuff, not the usual “if he do this then counter it by stabbing them in the face“

Examples:
“When you have a rapier some people use in the other hand a cape, or a parry dagger, but just take a pistol and decide for yourself what’s the best off-hand weapon”

“If there is a large group coming for you, throw your sword at them this way, then run in the other direction REALLY fucking fast. _Buy a new sword as soon as possible_” 

“If you have a disagreement with someone and he is stronger than you hold up your sword like a cross and ‘vow to this cross’ that you will make peace with him. When he isn’t paying attention bash his face with the pommel.“

“If someone tries to do the ‘cross trick’ to you put your hand on it saying ‘I vow to it too’ so he can’t bash your face with it“

“Some people put acidic/poisonous stuff in a hole in their mace so when they swing at you it will also go into your eyes. You TOTALLY won’t do this dishonorable thing, but here is the recipe for that stuff for the sake of knowledge“

“If in a duel you have to change swords with your opponent to make sure there is no cheating, and his sword is more expensive than yours, just run the fuck away with it.“

argieart:

they’re neighbors okay!! 

spacedoutrocketeer:

moldykins:

This was one of my favorite things I made in school last year…!

Oh I was just posting about this on FB the other day because people were losing their minds over figs.

smallest-feeblest-boggart:

loveismyrevolution:

detenebrate:

0xymoronic:

shitarianasays:

theeyesinthenight:

the-sonic-screw:

platinumpixels:

volpesvolpes:

unseilie:

sarahvonkrolock:

gaysexagainstawall:

them-days-was-olden-as-fuck:

The spread of the black death.

Poland

Poland, tell us your secret.

Poland is the old new Madagascar. 

If I remember correctly, Poland’s secret is that the jews where being blamed all over europe (as usual) as scapegoats for the black plague. Poland was the only place that accepted Jewish refugees, so pretty much all of them moved there. 

Now, one of the major causes of getting the plague was poor hygiene. This proved very effective for the plague because everyone threw their poop into the streets because there were no sewers, and literally no one bathed because it was against their religion. Unless they were jewish, who actually bathed relatively often. When all the jews moved to Poland, they brought bathing with them, and so the plague had little effect there.

Milan survived by quarantining its city and burning down the house of anyone showing early symptoms, with the entire family inside it. 

I reblogged this tons of times, but the Milan info is new.

Damn Italy, you scary.

Poland: “Hey, feeling a bit down? Have a quick wash! There, you see? All better”

Milan: “Aw, feeling a bit sick are we? BURN MOTHERFUCKER, BURN!!!!!”

Also, this might have something to do with it: from what I understand, O blood type is uncommonly… common in Poland. Something to do with large families in small villages and a LOT of intermarriage. The black plague was caused by a bacterium that produced, in its waste in the human body, wastes that very closely mimic the “B” marker sugars on red blood cells that keep the body from attacking its own immune system. Anyone who has a B blood type had an immune system that was naturally desensitized to the presence of the bacterium, and therefore was more prone to developing the disease. Anyone who had an O type was doubly lucky because the O blood type means the total absence of ANY markers, A or B, meaning that their bodys’ immune system would react quickly and violently against the invaders, while someone with an A may show symptoms and recover more slowly, while someone with B would have just died. Because O is a recessive blood type, it shows in higher numbers when more people who carry the recessive genes marry other people who also carry the recessive gene. Poland, which has a nearly 700 year history of being conquered by or partnering with every other nation in the surrounding area, was primarily an agricultural country, focused around smaller, farming communities where people were legally tied to, and required to work, “their” land, and so historically never “spread” their genes across a large area. The economy was, and had been, unstable for a very long period of time leading up to the plague, the government had been ineffective and had very little reach in comparison to the armies of the other countries around for a very very long time, and so its people largely remained in small communities where multiple generations of cross-familial inbreeding could have allowed for this more recessive gene to show up more frequently. Thus, there could be a higher percentage of O blood types in any region of the country, guaranteeing less spread of the illness and moving slower when it did manage to travel. Combine this with the fact that there were very few large, urban centers where the disease would thrive, and with the above facts, and you’ve got a lovely recipe for avoiding the plague.

Interestingly enough, as a result from the plague, the entirety of Europe now has a higher percentage of people with O blood type than any other region of the world. 

WHY IS THIS ALL SO COOL

When Tumblr teaches you more about the plague than 12 years of school ever did.

Just to throw a nod in, as a medieval historian, this is all credible, and is the leading theory as to the plagues effectiveness at this point. So. Enjoy your new knowledge!

Wow. This is cool knowledge!

Anyone know what was going on north of Barcelona? 

audgeosborne:

unwinona:

jellyfishdirigible:

ladyprydian:

Word

Literally though this is SO ignored, even that book “The Knowledge” which is supposed to be all about how to accelerate the reboot process if civilisation collapses,
the entire subject of clothing production
from fibre sources to weaving

is given less than six pages (of 288),
and pretty much all it has to say (less than a page) on the vital matter of spinning is “did u kno spinning wheels are a thing; Da Vinci invented the spinning flyer and it’s really cool it’s so cool and Da Vinci is cool; you can make rope”

Like ok buddy, good luck with that.
Spinning wheels have a lot of parts and break easily,

and spinning

on a wheel is actually a specialist skill that has to be learned & practiced, so even if you do miraculously find one laying around in full working order after the apocalypse, good luck figuring out how to use and maintain it.
Good luck figuring out which whorls and bobbins to use and when and why. Good luck figuring out how to
adjust the band

or lace the flyer to control tension and gauge. Good luck with your shitty unset, unplied, uneven

yarn that you can’t even use because you ignored knitting and crochet. Good luck weaving your unset, unblocked handspun. Good luck with your weak, shitty rope. Sure glad you used that pagespace to tell us how the spinning flyer was one of the few of Da Vinci’s inventions that were implemented during his lifetime, instead of explaining how to set & block spun fibre to make it usable. That’ll keep you warm.
Godspeed you naked dumbass.

Never forget the episode of Naked & Afraid where the girl knew how to weave grass into a hat and outfit and the man just got horrible sunburns all over his body.

LISTEN the best fucking resource I have EVER gotten (and I got it on accident when my grandma was gonna hand it off to the thrift shop) is Reader’s Digest: Back to Basics. It not only boasts detailed instructions on how to twist yarn and weave on a loom, it covers basically everything else too. Building houses, raising animals and growing vegetables, canning/preservation, various handcrafts, even recreation. Basically everything you’d need to know for long-term survival, which is something a LOT of people overlook.

thestraggletag:

thefingerfuckingfemalefury:

“Man who put bread in toaster outraged and horrified that the bread is now toasted, blames Shifty Foreign Types”

Brexit sucks but I admit it’s a tiny bit amusing to grasp just how UNAWARE people were of what a fuck-up the idea was.