the DA didn’t make the case for the crime and i went into the deliberation room knowing that. i also knew a half-dozen white orange county folks might not see it that way. the defendant was latino, there was a gang charge in addition to robbery.
sure enough, as we went around the table to give our first impressions, the white ladies used language around “gut instinct” and “he shouldn’t be hanging out with bad people” and the like. others were undecided because there was so much unreliable testimony.
they got to me and i flatly said “i have reasonable doubts.” i stated some of my reasoning and heads started to nod. the next 3 jurors to talk after me were hispanic. they stated that they understood why this might be confusing, and then gave some personal perspectives about growing up in disadvantage neighborhoods, how not everyone is a gangster just because they live there. one white lady said “well, you know, they should really move if that’s the case.”
the discussion opened up and it went right to gangs, right to how the defendant shouldn’t be hanging out with gang members. everyone had an opinion about how the defendant looked, or talked, or that he was drinking a 40 just before the robbery, or that he was related to a gang member. they went right to that.
but that’s not what we were supposed to decide on. we were there for a robbery as the primary charge. a robbery that i very clearly felt the state had not be able to pin on this guy.
so… being the loud mouth that i sometimes am… i interrupted and said “let’s all turn to page 14 in the jury instructions and go through what would make the charge ‘guilty’, line by line, and see where we all stand.”
sure enough, when we focused on the actual charge, and the facts actually required for someone to be found guilty, most in the room agreed it wasn’t there. well, except for two white ladies.
so i, also a white lady, helped to walk them through the list. when “gut instinct” or “it’s a bad neighborhood” came up, i kindly pointed out that those are not facts of the case. when i requested that they use the facts of the case to provide reasoning for their position, they both quietly agreed there weren’t any.
and that’s how, in about an hour, we came to a unanimous decision of ‘not guilty’.
i don’t have experience with the court system. and i don’t watch court room based tv dramas. so i was really a blank slate to all this.
i was taken aback at the very clear inherent bias that some jurors displayed, and all the while realizing they didn’t think of themselves as bias. but i was also taken aback by how focusing on the process, the rules, and the facts quickly squashed that line of reasoning.
this has buoyed me a bit, in light of the actions of the aclu over the muslim ban. but it also feels so fragile. so very fragile.
And this is exactly why I have never tried to get out of jury duty. We need clear thinking, intelligent people on juries. I get so frustrated with people I know who are always looking for a way out of serving.
somebody offer this hero a cape
Fellow whites. THIS IS WHAT WE SHOULD BE DOING.
Which means -get yourselfs on juries-. Don’t skip jury duty. Don’t skip don’t skip don’t try to sneak out of it, get on that jury, and make sure you are keeping all the other white people in line.
this whole thing is way too good to be giffed you need to expirience it
There are so many things that are TOP quality about this. The business with the mic rope. The bounding across the stage like an excited puppy or a newsie. The Voice™️ that is so synonymous with John, you know, the voice of a guy who sells ice cream at the soda fountain in the 50’s. The analogy itself.
It’s all so beautiful, such peak humor and content.
Emmy Award Winning™️
I FOUND IT AGAIN.
Here’s the “horse loose in a hospital” bit. Good news, it has closed captioning.
Warning: Please do not test your androids in hot or humid conditions. If fans start to make noise, cool off and wait for noise to die down before issuing any more requests. (Twitter)
My stomach hurts and I can barely breathe, because I haven’t laughed this hard in a very, very long time. I only learned about this prank less than fifteen minutes ago, but I’m already dead from how ridiculous it is.
Context: Paul Rudd has a history of going on Conan O’Brien’s shows (first Late Night, then Conan) and, when asked to show a clip from his newest movie, shows this snippet of a 1988 movie called Mac and Me (an ET ripoff) that people refer to as “the runaway wheelchair scene.” And Conan falls for it… every time. The exasperation through the years just kills me. Every time Conan thinks that he’s maybe caught a break, it happens again.
He thought that Paul Rudd might have laid off the joke for Ant-Man, in hopes of not pissing off Marvel.
Look at that face. Look at that expression. Look at how resigned and dead he is. This was his chance to get Paul Rudd to actually show a proper clip. Who would piss off Marvel? Who would waste a chance to promo their new movie for a prank they’d already been doing for fifteen years?
It’s the return of DETROIT: ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT. Chekhov’s slut shirt came up during the course of the description so here is Detective Gavin Reed, scourge of the DPD, bane of Captain Fowler’s existence, desperately attempting to be harassed by anyone within range.
“Is there a dimension of brokenness beyond deviancy?” RK900 asks Connor. “Because I think I’ve reached it.”
“Due to… arousal or exasperation?” asks Connor.
“I have been Detective Reed’s partner for four months now,” says RK900. “I can no longer recall a time when those two emotions were clearly distinguishable from each other.”
theclumsiestninja 