Tonight I may have had an encounter with the smoothest human being on earth.
As many of you know I work as an actor in a haunted house. This is a fun job for many reasons, but witnessing people’s reactions to being scared is by far the best. I’m a scare window actor, which means I hide behind a section of the wall that is held up by a latch that I can lift and drop away suddenly, scaring people with both my scream, and the loud sound my window makes upon being dropped. I have a small hole drilled in the wall to look through to see people passing.
The smoothest human being on the planet wore a white hoodie. He came in a group with three other friends. I did not expect to scare him much. After a while you can kind of gauge just by what you can glimpse from your peephole whether someone will be a good scare or not. Men in their 20’s in a mixed group of friends typically do not get scared easily. But this guy was wearing white in my blacklight-equipped hallway, so he had made himself an easy target and I had to take advantage.
I dropped my window precisely when he was in front of it.
He leapt back toward the wall on the other side of my narrow hallway and his drew back his arm like he meant to punch me.
“This is it.” I thought. “I’m finally going to be socked in the face for scaring someone.”
But I was wrong.
His arm kept curling back behind his head. Smoothly, flawlessly, effortlessly he tucked his hand behind his head, leaned back on the wall opposite me, and propped a foot up on the plywood frame of my open window, reclining with ease.
“So, come here often?” He asked.
All of this occurred within the span of a second. Maybe two.
I was shook. I was stunned. I almost broke character.
I shrugged. “Only on the weekends.” I replied with my character voice. His group laughed. He double finger gunned me and walked on.
I will never forget him.
I cannot stress enough how perfect his transition from his fear reaction to his playboy act was. It flowed so naturally.
The year is 2018. Your bills are on autopay. You just got paid and you still have $1200 from the last check. When you want something, you buy it without moving money around. Your credit cards are paid off. You and your friends have 2 international trips planned and paid for this year. Your parents are in great health and you’re able to help if they need anything. You love your job. Your desired creative career is falling into place and you get to take your little cousins to Six Flags and Universal Studios over the Summer. Your relationships are healthy and supportive. All of the toxic energy from the past 6 years is gone. You going to concerts, eating good across the states and your crib has art and warmth throughout. 2018 is going to be so good to you.
reblogging this for that 2018 good luck
Speaking this into existence.
Speak to your future, watch it speak back.
THAT PART!!! 🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾
Gonna post this on my bathroom mirror as an affirmation
G
Please, God. I just need something to go right in 2018. I’m so broke, I’m wondering if i have to move home… at almost 30. Cmon 2018! Let’s book big shows and be better off!!!
2018! ~ 9,466920E+5794
^Unexpected^Factorial^bot^0.1. Sometimes I do stupid things. Beep-boop!
You’re a regular office worker born with the ability to “see” how dangerous a person is with a number scale of 1-10 above their heads. A toddler would be a 1, while a skilled soldier with a firearm may score a 7. Today, you notice the reserved new guy at the office measures a 10.
You decide it’s best to find out what you can about this person. Cautiously, you approach his desk. He’s a handsome man, tall, but with a disarming smile. How could such a friendly guy with such cute, dorky glasses be dangerous?
You extend your hand. “I noticed you’re new here. What’s your name?”
He shakes your hand warmly. His gaze is piercing, as if he’s looking right through you. “The name’s Clark,” he says. “So, how long have you worked for the Daily Planet?”
This one wins.
It’s been a few weeks, and one of Clark’s friends shows up. She’s pretty and all, enough muscle that she must work out. First thought would be that she should be maybe a 6.
Clark’s introducing her around. “This is my good friend, Diana, she’s in from out of town.”
You blink, and take a step back in fear. You’ve never seen an 11 before.
The day Bruce Wayne shows up for his long promised interview with Lois Lane, you can’t help it, the mug your holding drops from your fingers and sends a shock of hot coffee and ceramic shards across the floor.
Clark stops a few feet away and squints at you worriedly from behind those ridiculous glasses you’re 99% sure he doesn’t actually need, and asks tentatively, “Everything all right?”
You ignore him in favor of staring at the inky dark numerals hovering over the beaming fool gesticulating some fantastic yacht story for a gaggle of secretaries and minor columnists.
That’s it. Your gift has officially gone haywire. There is no other explanation. Because there is absolutely no way that Brucie Wayne is a 10.
At this point, you’ve seen it all. Miled manner reporters and billionaires at a 10 and a model-like woman at 11. You were really starting to doubt your power. The day you really stopped believeing in it was when Bruce Wayne came for another visit, and this time with a kid. The kid couldn’t be more than 10 years old, a bit on the short side.
He was an 8.
The day you started believing in it again was when you saw on tv the formation of something called the justice league.
There were those same numbers over superman, batman, wonder woman and robin. That’s when you put two and two together. You wonder how nobody at the daily planet noticed that Clarke was Superman with glasses. You wonder why you didn’t notice. You wonder why nobody put two and two together that Diana Prince and Wonder Woman looked exactly the same. You look in the mirror as the realization hit you and you see your own number change from a 3 to a 9.
(the Ram – 21 March 19 April)
* Outgoing.
* Lovable.
* Spontaneous.
* Not one to mess with.
* Funny.
* EXCELLENT kisser.
* EXTREMELY adorable.
* Loves relationships.
* Addictive.
* Loud.
16 years of bad luck if you do not reblog.
2. TAURUS – The Tramp
(the Bull – 20 April 20 May)
* Aggressive.
* Loves being in long relationships.
* Likes to give a good fight for what they want.
* Extremely outgoing.
* Loves to help people in times of need.
* GOOD kisser.
* GOOD personality.
* Stubborn but a caring person.
* One of a kind.
* Not one to mess with.
* Usually are the most attractive people.
15 years of bad luck if you do not reblog.
3. GEMINI – Irresistible
(the Twins – 21 May 21 June)
* Nice.
* Love is one of a kind.
* Great listener.
* Lover not a fighter, but will still knock you out.
* Trustworthy.
* Always happy.
* Loud.
* Talkative.
* Not one to mess with.
* Freak.
* Outgoing.
* VERY Forgiving.
* Loves to make friends.
* Has a beautiful smile.
* Generous.
* Strong.
* The Irresistible one.
9 years of bad luck if you do not reblog.
4. CANCER – The Cutie
(the Crab – 22 June 22 July)
* Most AMAZING kisser..Very high appeal.
* Love is one of a kind.
* Very romantic.
* Most caring person you will ever meet!
* Very creative.
* Extremely random and proud of it.
* Freak.
* Spontaneous.
* Great at telling stories.
* Not a fighter, but will knock your lights out if it comes down to it.
* Someone you should hold on to.
12 years of bad luck if you do not reblog.
5. LEO – The Lion
(the Lion – 23 July – 22 August)
* Great talker.
* Attractive and passionate.
* Laid back.
* Knows how to have fun.
* Is really good at almost anything.
* GREAT kisser.
* Unpredictable.
* Outgoing.
* Down to earth.
* Addictive.
* Attractive.
* Loud.
* Loves being in long relationships.
* Talkative.
* Not one to mess with.
* Freak.
* Rare to find.
* Good when found.
7 years of bad luck if you do not reblog.
6. VIRGO – The One that Waits
(the Virgin – 23 August 22 September)
* Dominant in relationships.
* Someone loves them right now.
* Always wants the last word.
* Caring.
* Smart.
* Loud.
* Loyal.
* Easy to talk to.
* Everything you ever wanted.
* Easy to please.
* The one and only.
7 years of bad luck if you do not reblog.
7. LIBRA – The AWESOME One
(the Balance – 23 September 23 October)
* Nice to everyone they meet.
* Their Love is one of a kind.
* Independent, yet likes company
* Great kisser.
* Always smiling, loves to laugh.
* Silly, fun and sweet.
* Have own unique sex appeal.
* Most caring person you will ever meet!
* However not the kind of person you want to mess with…you might end up crying.
9 years of bad luck if you do not reblog.
8. SCORPIO – The Addict
(the Scorpion – 24 October 21 November)
* EXTREMELY adorable.
*Good Lover
* Intelligent.
* Loves to joke.
* Very good sense of humor.
* Energetic.
* GOOD kisser.
* Always get what they want.
* Attractive.
* Easy going.
* Loves being in long relationships.
* Talkative.
* Romantic.
* Caring.
4 years of bad luck if you do not reblog.
9. SAGITTARIUS – The Promiscuous One
(the Archer – 22 November 21 December)
* Spontaneous.
* High appeal.
* Rare to find.
* Great when found.
* Loves being in long relationships.
* So much love to give.
* Not one to mess with.
* Very attractive.
* Very romantic.
* Nice to everyone they meet.
* Their Love is one of a kind.
* Silly, fun and sweet.
* Have their own unique appeal.
* Most caring person you will ever meet!
* Not the kind of person you wanna fuck with because you might end up crying.
4 years of bad luck if you do not reblog.
10. CAPRICORN – The Passionate Lover
(the Goat – 22 December 19 January)
* Love to bust.
* Nice.
* Sassy.
* Intelligent.
* Sexy.
* Irresistible.
* Loves being in long relationships.
* Great talker.
* Always gets what he or she wants.
* Cool.
* Loves to own Gemini’s in sports.
* Extremely fun.
* Loves to joke.
* Smart.
24 years of bad luck if you do not reblog.
11. AQUARIUS – Does It In The Water
(the Water Bearer – 20 January 18 February)
* Trustworthy.
* Attractive.
* GREAT kisser.
* One of a kind.
* Loves being in long-term relationships.
* Extremely energetic.
* Unpredictable.
* Will exceed your expectations.
* Not a Fighter, but will knock your lights out if it comes down to it.
2 years of bad luck if you do not reblog.
12. PISCES – The Partner for Life
(the Fishes – 19 February 20 March)
* Caring and kind.
* Smart.
* Center of attention.
* High appeal.
* Has the last word.
* Good to find, hard to keep.
* Fun to be around.
* Extremely weird but in a good way.
* Good Sense of Humor!!!
* Thoughtful.
* Always gets what he or she wants.
* Loves to joke.
* Very popular.
* Silly, fun and sweet.
* Loves being in long relationships.
2 years of bad luck if you do not reblog.
theclumsiestninja 