red wine – desperately trying to study french in your spare time, reading poetry by the candlelight, coffee shops, silk bed sheets, smeared lipstick, having a passion towards everything
white wine – reading two books at the same time, niche humour, dried flowers, french pastry, flower scented hand creams, feeling your mascara on your cheeks after crying
vodka – angry logic, forgetting to go to bed because you were too busy thinking, short hair, reading dostoyevsky, trees covered in snow, cold hands, bruises appearing out of nowhere, smeared mascara
whiskey – leather jacket, falling asleep on the couch, under eye circles, vintage crime films, messy hand writing, has no mental stability, eye contact, unfinished letters, modernist books on bedroom floors
beer – night outs with your friends, old jean jackets, eating fast food instead of a healthy dinner, road trips, falling asleep on the backseats of your car
brandy – chocolate cake, keeping a dairy, the feeling of velvet on bare skin, lace lingerie, antique shops, hollywood classics, wavy hair, browsing through fashion shows instead of sleeping
cognac – blonde hair, watching french new wave films, black coffee, rose pink blushes, pearl necklaces, daydreaming about being in love in a foreign country, choppy bangs
rum – tousled hair, talking about greek mythology, sound of ocean waves, echoing laughter, messy ponytails, hawaiian shirts over black bikinis, dancing alone in your room
gin – empty perfume bottles, watching the sunset in your balcony, vintage lace shirts, petting street cats, jazz music playing from a distance, playing poker with your friends
scotch – quoting your favourite authors, midnight confessions, admiring good architecture, reading classics in rainy days, silver necklaces, stargazing from your window
My wife and I were were talking the other day and, I don’t remember what we were even talking about, but the idea came up that we would need an oreo for. I joked about getting one from my secret stash. This is where she made her mistake. She said “oh right, like you could have an Oreo stash without me knowing about it.”
I’m sorry?
That’s a challenge.
Oreos aquired.
I’m going to hide them in a super simple place at first
But be sure to follow this post while I chronicle all the ways and places I hide them and also how I plan on taunting her with cookies while she can’t find the package
She is out of the house for a moment so it’s time to enjoy a few cookies
And find a new hiding spot
Hehehe
They up there
Normally I’m a Oreos with milk kinda guy, but I’ll take coffee if coffee is available
Now to hide them right under her nose
She never looks under the TV for anything. Tonight when we are watching Halloween Wars I’ll have a big dopey grin on my face
Time to up the stakes. It was fun having em here and hiding them around her while she didn’t know what was happening. Bit now it’s time for her to be in on the game she is playing
Four cookies packed in her lunch. Game on
I’ve been cleaning house today and feeling like I’ve done a pretty good job. Time to reward myself with some delicious Oreos
Aaaaand put them where she would never find them in a million years
🙂
Got up early this morning and helped pack everyone’s lunch. Pulling a damn Oprah over here
You get some cookies! You get some cookies! Everyone gets cookies!
Then a devious idea struck me…
I put the remaining Oreos in a baggie to hide by themselves. Now to “hide” the package where it will probably be found…
And pin the actual stash to the inside of the closet wall
If you two weren’t already married I’d beg you to marry her because you two are obviously perfect for each other and I love this post with all my heart
This guy’s dopey grin at his success at hiding oreos is exactly what I’m here for
You like that eh? Well you are going to love today’s installment
Look at that. So sad. So few Oreos left
Guess I’ll just pin em right to the middle of the wall in the middle of the living room. She’ll never find em there
Oh, guess I should put this back up
Bwa ha ha ha! You guys! You guys don’t understand! I was planning on doing this and when I got home and looked at it I was like “aww, it’s too thin. They won’t fit.” I even TOLD my wife this and how I was disappointed that I wouldn’t be able to hide them back there.
But then I looked again. They dooooo
Thank you all so much for the love. I knew y’all would like this, but I had no idea you would like it THIS MUCH. People calling us “goals” and stuff… Man…. It’s kinda hard to take in ya know? Anyways: if this post gets Over 9000™ before I get off work today I will pick up Halloween Oreos on my way home and this will not stop
As someone who’s reported alt-right harassment and rhetoric on various
social media sites and been told “there’s nothing here that violates our
TOS,” seeing what RPGnet is doing is a welcome breath of fresh air.
Please, more social media sites need to do this.
Freedom of speech refers to the government, and the government only. You don’t get to tell platforms they also fall under it, especially since you made a big deal about a damned wedding cake.
Ostracize those fuckers. Marginalize them. Shame them.
theclumsiestninja 