concept: the show supernatural but with the mcelroy brothers
Griffin: So Scraps I noticed that the ghost is still sort of… Travis: …? Griffin: It’s. Y’know… Travis: … A ghost? Griffin: … Travis: … Griffin: *sigh* Travvy the fucking ghost is still here. It’s fucking hAUnting our asses right now. It’s – it – it wants my soul, Travvy. It wants my delicious, sUcCuLeNt soul. Travis: I mean I salted and burnt the remains, I don’t – I dunno what to tell you. Griffin: Did you? Travis: Yeah! I– Griffin: You– Travis: I did, I– Griffin: You sure? Because if you did, then the ghost would be – uh, it would be ah-PaSsEd ON, ah-My DuDe, it’d– Justin: Hey Travis. Griffin: – have sloughed off– Travis: *laughing* I salted – Justin: Travis, what if– Griffin: this mortal FuCkInG cOiL– Travis: I did! I salted and I burnt the body, I did. Justin: Travis let me ask you this. Travis: What Justin. Justin: … You used regular salt? Travis: I used regular… ahhh, it was, I mean it’s *technically*– Justin: Travis. Travis: I maaaayyyy have used your Margaritaville margarita salt BUT IT’S Griffin: *bursting into laughter* Justin: You did WHAT Travis: IT’S TECHNICALLY JUST SALT JUSTIN Griffin: HA HA HAAAA!! *clapping* Justin: Why the FUCK would you use– Griffin: Was it fucking JImMy BUFFET’S body you burned?! Like– Travis: Look, I didn’t have any other salt on hand, Justin’s always got it in a cupboard somewhere, I just Justin: Ugh. Travis look, what you’ve done is– Griffin: *gasping* ohhh my Jesus Justin: -it’s unacceptable but I can’t fault you because, yes, you’re right, it is technically– Travis: ThAnK you, – Justin: –I MEAN it’s *technically* just salt but it’s like Travis: Yes! Yes, it is. Justin: Whatever. You salted the remains. You burnt the body. Travis: Yes, THAT I definitely did, that part’s easy. Griffin: *snickering* ’d’you fuckin- you fuckin douse ‘em in some Parrot Bay first? Travis: No, Griffin, I used lighter fluid thank you very much Justin: And we’re sure– we’re SURE there aren’t any other little… bits and pieces of our dearly departed sorta… *hangin out* somewhere? Griffin: Ohhh, I see what you’re sayin, you’re sayin’ we got a – a rogue appendage situation on our hands. Travis: I mean, it *looked* whole when I was, y’know– Griffin: *laughing* When – when you were making it into a corpse-ARITA? Travis: *laughing* A piña corpse-lada! Griffin: Oh, *very* good! Travis: Thank you! Justin: K but like. You don’t know if some creepy motherfucker has a lock of duder’s hair tucked away in his desk drawer, do you. Travis: How would I know that Justin. Justin: You can’t, that’s what I’m saying! We can’t know that, we can’t just go door to door through this entire town asking for locks of hair and fingernails and, and, Griffin: “Excuse me ma’am did you and this, this super-dead phantom boy ever make a wish on one of his sweet, *delicate*, fallen eyelashes? Ma’am I need you to tell me where that eyelash is currently it’s SUPER important and definitely not a fetish of mine.” Travis: Oh maybe we just need to find all the nose pickins he left behind! Griffin: Ew, Travis! Travis: I’m just sayin! Justin: !! …. ………………. …….….. …. unless. Griffin: UNlesss….. Travis: unLESS!
My wifi decided to not work tonight so I’m posting this from my phone !
Someone asked me what would be my take on a Rapunzel AU so my angst loving brain got to work ;w;
So basically Hanzo got kidnapped when he was a child because a random villain wanted the power of the dragons for himself. They cursed Hanzo so he couldn’t remember his past life, and the spell turned his hair white and can’t be cut for a reason I don’t have thought about. So Hanzo grew not knowing who he was and wondered on his birthdays why dragons appeared in the sky. Comes Jesse McCree and the rest of the plot yadee yadee yada they’re smitten and very gay.
And also Genji, who miss his brother very much, is now the one who has to send the dragons in the sky to call the lost prince and he’s beginning to lose hope and Angela is here AND THIS SCENE OF THE MOVIE IS TEARING ME APART. But the brothers are reunited at the end so that’s cool.
travis: daddy, what kind of music do you play when you’re getting busy? justin: [yelling] MY HEADPHONES ARE OFF! dad mcelroy: well, travis– justin: i’m out of the goddamn room! dad mcelroy: it depends on what you’re, uh– justin: OUT! dad mcelroy: what you want to accomplish. if you want to extend the experience– travis: uh-huh? griffin: oh, no. justin: [yelling in the background] you fucking stop that on my show – i built an empire, you will not destroy it! travis: now, what if you’re trying to build a certain sexy atmosphere, daddy? what– griffin: [losing it] OH GOD, don’t say daddy. if you’re gonna explore this goof, don’t say daddy. justin: travis and dad can go on this venture. i’m OUT! dad mcelroy: [citing several musicians, including barry white] justin: [wordless yelling in the background] travis: now, what if you’re actually having sex with barry white? dad mcelroy: you don’t actually do it with barry white. justin: he’s DEAD! like ME! dad mcelroy: you let him play in the background. yeah. ‘cause that would be a little creepy. justin: [crying] dad mcelroy: [says the word “climax”] griffin and justin: NO! GOD! justin: i’m going out the window! this is a nightmare! dad mcelroy: well, there is a band called climax. there was also a climax blues band. travis: i see. justin: there’s a– there’s a band called jefferson airplane and i wish they would hit me right now and kill me in their propellers. i wanna die. (…) justin: you’ve never done it. it’s never happened. dad mcelroy: obviously, i’ve done it three times. i had to – where would you have come from? justin: a star put a crystal under a cabbage leaf and i appeared! I’M A GIFT!
elizabeth swan and will turner are actually SO romance in the first movie and not enough people acknowledged this because the early 2000s were the age of the edgelords who only valued jack sparrow’s moral ambiguity and that is the TRUTH
the part where she’s like “how many times do i have to tell you to call me elizabeth” and he shyly says “once more, miss swann” and once she walks away he gazes adoringly after her and whispers “elizabeth” to himself like he’s unworthy of it
then when he’s patching up the cut on her hand and she flinches and he says “i know, blacksmith’s hands… they’re rough” because he thinks that’s what’s bothering her HE KNOWS HE’S NOT WORTHY OF HER!!! THAT’S THE PINING I’M TALKING ABOUT BINCH!!! I DON’T ACCEPT LESS!!!!
he has like 10 chances to confess his love to her but waits until he’s dressed like this to do it:
my man knows 1) the importance of a good outfit when shooting your shot 2) how to ACCESSORIZE. take NOTES.
Are we not going to talk about how they KEPT being peak romance even as the movies got worse? GET ON THEIR LEVEL
their theme from potc3 is the source of life itself i’m just reporting the facts here!!
all right. so. this is a Harry Potter AU, in rambly and abbreviated form.
this is a version of events where, on the morning of November 1st, 1981, the police are called to a house in Surrey.
when they arrive, a large man with a red face and a moustache is waiting for them, brandishing a baby.
to be more accurate: he is brandishing a basket. the basket contains a baby.
he tells the police that his wife found the basket on their doorstep that morning. “Gave her the shock of her life,” he says, with a chuckle that does not seem the least bit sincere.
the police officers have a lot of questions about this, but the man does not have any useful answers. his wife, he tells them, is not in any shape to be interviewed. “she’s been poorly,” he says, “and we’ve got a baby of our own to worry about, keeping us up at all hours.”
the baby in the basket seems to be about a year old. he is cheerful, seems healthy aside from a cut on his forehead, with a crooked sticking plaster on it. he has startlingly green eyes.
there is no identifying information in the basket, except for a torn scrap of paper with ‘his name is Harry’ on it in a delicate hand.
there it nothing else to be done, it seems. the officers take baby Harry, and leave.
one of them comes back a few days later for a follow-up interview with the woman who found the baby. she seems a little fragile, and her own baby, in the next room, keeps up a constant shrieking tantrum the whole time the officer is there. “I’m sorry,” the woman says, with a brittle smile. “this has all been a bit much. I recently lost my sister, you see.”
theclumsiestninja 