Jester: “Do you think you’re slowly turning into water?”
Fjord: -loooong sigh- “No, I hadn’t considered that terrifying idea. I’ll just add it to the fuckin’ list.”
Jester: “Well if you do, let us know and we’ll catch you in a jar.”
“people should be ashamed by what makes them happy instead of entirely different things making them happy”
The act of legitimately loving the companion animal you willingly adopt into your household being referred to as “sick and disturbing” is wild enough, but the idea that my dog, who cries with joy whenever I come home, likes to be tucked into bed with a mountain of stuffed animals and considers everyone she meets a potential friend, would rather “chase down something in the woods and rip its still-beating heart out” because reading Jack London in 8th grade convinced this idiot that thousands of years of domestication is actually fake is absolutely the funniest thing I’ve read all year.
I don’t know what makes a cat worse than a child, at least a cat can be unsupervised when it’s four years old, and it won’t get fuckin cheerios everywhere or smear peanutbutter on my walls, and I don’t have to send it to college.
“How badly must they want real grandchildren, instead of pet-sitting an attention-smothered dog?”
How are someone else’s unrealistic expectations my problem? And I wouldn’t ask my folks to pet-sit the cats in the first place.
“How much grief must they feel watching their child waste her parental instincts on an animal while they’re forced to play along in the couple’s sick and disturbing charade?”
Please explain to me why I should give a shit about someone else projecting their desires onto my body.
Friendly reminder: by “please explain,” I mean “kindly fuck off.”
Hypothesis: At the time of his creation, Dummy was absolutly big enough to lift tony up
Evidence:
Here, I have drawn a crude wireframe over the above photo, to get in the rough placement/length of the limbs.
I then straightened out all the segments, so that both tony and dummy could achieve their full heights.
As you can see, Dummy’s full height far exceeds Tony’s, even with Dummy not stretched to his full height. (My canvas size was too small):
In conclusion: Dummy can and probably has scruffed baby MIT tony like an angry kitten when necessary/amusing.
Thank you for coming to my ted-talks
Alright fellow asshole giving people bot-feels:
Imagine that Tony “trains” Dum-E out of it, mostly by yelling and flailing but also by accidentally kicking Dum-E in his flailing and feeling so horrible about it that Dum-E decides not to put him in a position that he could possibly kick him again.
Fast forward twenty years and several villain attacks and suddenly someone attacks Tony in the workshop. There’s too much fire for Dum-E to put out with his extinguisher, and the armor can’t get to Tony because of falling debris. The villains are coming closer.
So Dum-E does the only thing he can think to do and grabs Tony by the collar and just flings him up over the flames, over the villains, and out the door to safety. JARVIS locks the doors but the villains are going after him anyway. So Dum-E does the same thing to them, too.
Except he flings them directly into the wall as hard as he can, instead.
theclumsiestninja 