Author: theclumsiestninja

anarchetypal:

i saw this post earlier about therapists and it reminded me of my old therapist paul, who in my opinion is one of the greatest men alive and who did not put up with my bullshit for even one second

anyway i go in to see paul one week in the summer of 2016, and i’m doing my usual bullshit which consists of me talking shit about myself, and paul is staring at me, and then he cuts me off and says that he’s got a new tool for helping people recognize when they’re using negative language, and gets up and goes over to his desk

and i’m like alright hit me with that sweet sweet self-help article my man, because i’m a linguistic learner and whenever paul’s like here i have a tool for you to use it’s pretty much always an article or a book or something

paul opens a drawer, takes something out, and turns back around. i stare.

i say, paul.

is that a nerf gun.

yeah, says paul.

i say, are you gonna shoot me with a nerf gun in this professional setting.

he happily informs me that that’s really up to me, isn’t it. and sits back down. and gestures, like, go ahead, what were you saying?

and i squint suspiciously and start back up about how i’m having too much anxiety to leave the house to run errands, like it was a miracle to even get here, like i’ve forgone getting groceries for the past week and that’s so stupid, what a stupid issue, i’m an idiot, how could i–

a foam dart hits me in the leg.

i go, hey! because my therapist just shot me in the leg. paul blinks at me placidly and raises an eyebrow. i squint again.

i say, slowly, it’s– not a stupid issue, i’m not stupid, but it’s frustrating me and i don’t want it to be a problem i’m having.

no dart this time. okay. sweet.

so the rest of the hour passes with me intermittently getting nailed with tiny foam darts and then swearing and then fixing my language and, wouldn’t you know it, i start liking myself a little more by the end of the session, which is mildly infuriating because paul can tell and he’s very smug about it 

anyway i leave his office and the lady having the next appointment walks in and i hear what’s all over the floor? and paul very seriously says cognitive behavioral therapy tools.

lancery:

cotton–candy–gems:

lesbian-ochako:

concept: iida and bakugou get hit by a quirk that swaps their vocabularies, but not their personalities.

Iida says “fuck” exactly once and spends the rest of the day on the floor crying

bakugou: YOUR TECHNIQUES ARE LESS THAN IDEAL! YOU REQUIRE MORE TRAINING! MAY I SUGGEST A NEW PROFESSION? THIS SITUATION IS LESS THAN IDEAL!

patrickat:

jujubiest:

celticpyro:

evilkitten3:

the-stray-liger:

The older I get the less I put up with JKR 

“Slytherins didn’t participate in the battle of Hogwarts bc they’d be fighting family” Do you have ANY idea of how much I’d fucking LOVE to fight some ppl in my own goddamn fucking family forget the goddamn wand I’m gonna punch my homophobic racist uncles in the throat à la muggle

also there’s no way that each and every slytherin has a death eater family member that’s just dumb

She’s like the George Lucas of literature. She created this
amazing fantasy world and then ruined it with her own hands. Honestly it would’ve been better if someone with better
ideas had bought off Potterverse from her and actually wrote a better story. 

Reblogging this mainly for that first part because HOO BOY do I relate to THAT. But also for the rest.

You know how various cultures have blessings and so forth? The creators’ blessing out to be “May you create something as successful and beloved as Star Wars and Harry Potter, and may you know when to fucking stop and move on, unlike some unnamed creators.”

“Because they’d be fighting family” – hoo boy, have I got some news for you about every civil war in history.