Author: theclumsiestninja

i think my cat’s dead

she’s been gone for 2 whole days i think which is the longest ever, and my other cat has been very whiny and clingy

we had a recent foster puppy which i think freaked her out enough to stay away from the house, and now a coyote probably got her or she’s still running around outside somewhere

im fuckin sad now, please come home D i miss you

spiletta42:

ragnell:

danbensen:

exxos-von-steamboldt:

ralfmaximus:

moogloogle:

ralfmaximus:

tobaeus:

ralfmaximus:

nyxetoile:

antibutch:

thats a valid question

A communion wafer, according to the internet, is about .25g. Jesus was a healthy young man, who worked manual labor and walked everywhere. The average male in Biblical times was 5′1″ and about 110 pounds so call it 50kg or 50,000 grams. So 200,000 wafers to make up a whole Jesus. At one wafer a week that’s 3846 to eat a whole Jesus at weekly communion. If you went to Mass daily you could do it in under 550 years.

1000 communion wafers from Amazon costs $15, so acquiring a Jesus load would set you back about $3000

But that’s just the body. Jesus also bade his followers to drink his blood. How much of that Jesus communion wafer supply needs to be replaced with communion wine to account for his blood, and how much of that would need to be consumed to have drunk all his blood as well?

The human body contains roughly 5 liters of blood.

Communion wine costs about $66 for a case of 12 x 750 ml bottles (9000 ml).

So half a case is 4500 ml, or close enough if Jesus was on the small side which is reasonable given what we know of the times.

Thus, Jesus’ blood would be about 6 bottles of communion wine, costing $33.

How much of his weight was his blood, now? We can bring down the wafer count.

Osnap what an excellent question.

Water has a specific gravity of 1.0 and weighs 1kg/liter. Wine has a specific gravity if 1.5 thus weighs 1.5kg per liter.

4.5L of wine would weigh 6.75kg or about 15 pounds.

Reducing the wafer load by 6.75kg yields 43.25kg so call it 161,000 wafers or $2450 and change.

@danbensen

Full Metal Eucharist

The Unholy Union of Catholic Tumblr and Math Tumblr

This is one of those posts I will absolutely email to every pastor I know.

panthalass:

more All Might headcanons:

  • Cats like Toshinori because he is Big and Warm and he bears their kneading without complaint. He likes them back, because they’re small and fuzzy and cute.
  • Dogs love Toshinori because he’s happy to get down on their level and cuddle (or alternatively wrassle) with them. Toshi loves dogs because they get so enthusiastic about things and that makes him feel enthusiastic as well.
  • His ultimate favourite animals, however, are rabbits. He went to Okunoshima (the island of rabbits) once for some sort of charity thing. There’s a viral video that occasionally does the rounds of him sitting down among the rabbits and promptly being mobbed by them. He can be heard to say, “Now I can die happy,” as a particularly large rabbit clambers over his head.
  • Now that he doesn’t have to worry about transforming anymore, Toshi has a tendency to wear shorts in all weathers because he doesn’t have to worry about matching the length to his legs. Naomasa keeps asking him if he’s cold.
  • He sleeps in his underwear and nothing else because he’s a natural space heater, even after losing so much weight. On the flipside, he got a touch of secondary Raynaud’s Phenomenon after his injury and his hands and feet will spontaneously lose circulation in the cold. He invests well in mittens and thick woollen socks.
  • He is very ticklish on the insides of his forearms. Sir Nighteye discovered this during their partnership, and took this highly dangerous knowledge to his grave.
  • Toshi is something of a vocal chameleon – he’ll mimic accents without realising, and will often find himself doing impressions of certain characters saying iconic lines. He can do a very good “I am Groot!” impression, and will drag it out for a party trick if you ask with a modicum of enthusiasm. He can also manage a decent Optimus Prime.

topsydead:

I’m telling you elephants are chill motherfuckers. They fucking love being helpful. They once defended a man with heatstroke from a truck that came to rescue him. They knew he was sick, laying against a tree for shade. They were watching over him and petting him, and they threatened to charge the vehicle for coming towards him. Another person passed out, and elephants cried over her and buried her body in a traditional elephant funeral. (Piling branches on her). And were quite spooked when she got up later.

And an elephant was helping workers to put logs in holes for a wall. On one hole, the elephant absolutely refused to set the log in, despite being punished and goaded. Turns out there was a sleeping dog in the hole.

There are so many good elephants stories. They will even help zookeepers wash other elephants– literally, a zookeeper can be like “[Name 1], please wash [Name 2]” and he will go wash that elephant correctly.

Listen guys. Not only are elephants people, but they’re largely better people than us. I’m 10000% serious.

Librarian Letters

evilsupplyco:

Ms. Pumpkin Jaq: Please be advised that your familiar, Trix, will be returned to you by the end of the week. He was caught between chapters five and six of your recently returned novel, Fantastic Trees Through the Ages. Please note a two silver coin fine will be placed onto your account for returning Trix to his original form. At the time of

this letter, he was stuck in the shape of a bookmark.

Ms. Arques: Your copy of Lock Picking for Frequently Incarcerated Mischief Makers is available for pickup. Please note: How to Hide Nearly Anything Anywhere is nearing its due date and we can find you if necessary.

Mrs. Strawberry: The books from Atlantis have arrived. My apologies for not listing the titles, I am not able to read the glyphs. They are being held in the water tank at the Circulation Desk.

Ms. Pierreux: The story stones you requested arrived yesterday. A Suspend Fire charm has been cast upon them as they were covered in lava. We have a pair of bat-shaped oven mitts handy should you
need protection to carry them home.

Lemon Peel the Tiny Dragon: A book in the form of a mechanical lizard arrived for you several days ago. Our apologies in this delay, it kept scampering away and hiding. We were finally able to keep it one place by giving it a steady bribe of nuts and bolts.

Mr. Redghost: A large black book with red pages and an unusual smell appeared at the Receiving Dock a few days ago. While we have no record of you requesting it, nor can we read the title or open the cover, it is whispering your name and laughing quietly. We insist you retrieve it as quickly as possible.

Ms. Starwater: Your copy of An Incomplete & Probably Untrue Yet Passionate History of Poltergeists is available for pick up. It has been playing tricks on various patrons since its arrival, please stop by the Circulation Desk so we may share the stories.

Mr. Sourdough: Please keep the copy of Speed Reading for the Busy you currently have checked out. Our records show you have renewed it every two weeks for the last 10 years.