the fact that cars have horns is absolutely goddamn astounding to me like theyre basically functionally useless except as a Rude Bitch button
seriously its one in the morning and i cant stop fucking thinking about this who looked at this stupid metal horse and decided it would be a good idea if it could scream at people
it is a fundamental human impulse to scream at people and technology has only ever facilitated this impulse
“This Means War is tone deaf and pointless, the comedy is dumb, the action standard punch-shoot-punch that you have seen a thousand times, and McG has no sense of humor. More to the point, I was hoping for something incompetent enough to be entertainingly shitty, but no such luck there either. So I have little to discuss here about the movie. So let’s talk for a minute about gay sex.”
love this review as it makes watching ‘this means war’ worth it just to understand the reality of these gems:
“Contrived is the focal point, as the men displace their lust for one another’s loins by pouring it into her”
“Even the inevitable fight between them brims with sexual tension, while any makeout scene with the girl is more awkward and forced than the explanation any guy in the audience will have for their date about where their erection came from.”
“Pine gives off a vibe that suggests that he is rather flexible in these matters. And Tom Hardy is… well, every man in the audience of his films is bisexual by definition. I’d give the man an enthusiastic handjob, and I’m not even gay. I think.”
“This Means War functions solely as an examination into the evolution of men’s friendship into bisexuality, as well as beckoning the male audience goer into following them down the rabbit hole. ”
theclumsiestninja 