If Pride and Prejudice took place in 2018, there would be markedly less garden-walking, an equal amount of upper-class snobbery, and 100% more texting.
Straight dudes are their own worst enemies when it comes to getting laid.
Like, i know so many girls who are down for something more casual and who actually have really low standards that boil down to ātreat me like a person, not a talking fleshlightā. And dudes refuse to even meet those standards!
Like, you know how many times Iāve been talking to a guy and Iāve already decided that when we hang out Iād down to mess around, only for the guy to start talking super graphically or send me a picture of his dickāand then literally all desire I had for him went out the windows.
Like dudes are so obsessed with sex that theyre scaring almost-certain sex partners away because they refuse to act like human beings capable of rational thought.
Bring thing this back to add an example:
I started talking to a guy on tinder. Ā He was funny, flirty and super nice even though he wasnāt really my type. Most importantly, he was completely respectful. He managed to let me know he thought I was attractive, and that he was interested in me, without ever saying anything gross, asking for pictures or asking for sex. We met up for drinks and talked for hours and I realized I was more attracted to him than I initially thought . Not only did I sleep with him on the first date, but Iāve hooked up with him multiple times after that. The first time, he didnāt make any assumptions. We hung out, started making out and then he asked me if I wanted to stay the night. That was it. He STILL has never asked me for a nude, or sent me some overtly sexual message or picture.Ā
But SOMEHOOOW I still want to have sex with him.
Conversely, I started talking to another guy on tinder today. On our FIRST conversation, he has mentioned my boobs 3 times, invited me over toĀ āwatch a movieā (he added the quotes, not me), suggested a fwb set up and just asked for nudes.
GUESS WHO ISNāT GONNA GET IN MY PANTS.
I try so hard to tell them.
Trash men are out here getting advice from other trash men so they donāt know how to act. š
Butā¦ But why are they incapable of learning from bad experience after bad experience?
BECAUSE PERVASIVE CULTURAL SEXISM HAS TAUGHT THEM THAT THE PROBLEM IS YOU.
THINK ABOUT THE MOVIES. HOW MANY TIMES HAVE YOU SEEN A GUY PROTAGONIST BEHAVE CONSISTENTLY OBNOXIOUSLY TOWARDS HIS LOVE INTEREST AND STILL END UP GETTING THE ROMANTIC PAYOUT? PROBABLY A LOT. (EVEN MOVIES I OTHERWISE LIKE, SUCH AS GOTG2, DO THIS.) THE MODEL IS, ESSENTIALLY, THAT WOMEN ARE LIKE SLOT MACHINES WHERE YOU PUT INTERACTION IN AND EVENTUALLY THE WHEELS COME UP āSEXā, REGARDLESS OF THE NATURE OR QUALITY OF THAT INTERACTION. ANY WOMAN WITH WHOM THIS DOESNāT HAPPEN IS ASSUMED TO BE BROKEN IN SOME WAY.
(āTHE FRIENDZONEā IS BASED ON A VARIATION ON THE SAME MODEL, IN WHICH YOU PUT IN A PERIOD OF NON-SHITTINESS AND ARE āāāSUPPOSEDāāā TO GET SEX AS A PAYOUT.)
a friend of mine forgot the word ālampā once and said ālight faucetā
Iām shaking from laughter. Yes, this is the right way to start a Friday morning.
Listen guys, I have a BA in English and an MA in Professional Writing and I have:
Forgotten the wordĀ āgumsā and called themĀ āteeth cuticlesā Forgotten the termĀ āliquor storeā and called it aĀ ārum-o-ramaā Forgotten the wordĀ āmohawkā and called it aĀ āhead mustacheā
The list goes on and on. Wording is HARD.Ā
You know that putty you put in holes before you paint a wall? I forgot the word āputty,ā called it āhole-be-goneā instead, and now my whole family refers to it as hole-be-gone.
itās hard to make the brain do the english, ok!?
I wish I had this skill. When I lose a word, my brain derails. I use the term āderailā because it is the mental equivalent of a train derailment (just easier to clean up)
At the staff meeting, my boss referred to the clipboard as āthat snappy boardā
My 4-year-old nephew didnāt know the word āknuckleā so he told us his finger knee hurt.
I forgot the wordĀ āspeechā once so I saidĀ āyou wrote me an essay with your mouthā
Dad once temporarily had the term āauto body fillerā leave his brain; the Canadian Tire worker had her whole day made when he cheerfully said, āIām here to procure someā¦car-spackle!ā
theclumsiestninja 