Cassandra: “You have the moral backbone of a chocolate eclair.”
Iron Bull: “And she said this totally unprompted. ‘Eat ass, suck a dick and sell drugs.’ It wasn’t like I had paused
in front of her and been like, ‘What should I do with my life?’ So, I walk away from
her with this to-do list.
And I like structure, I like a to-do list.
It did dawn on me that that list of
things does get better as it goes along,
when you really think about it.
‘Cause it starts in a pretty rough place.
It starts with just about the worst
task a to-do list can start with.
But by the end, you have
your own small business.
And isn’t that the American
dream when all’s said and done?”
Blackwell:
“The butt part of my pants is damp a lot. I don’t think it’s anything serious, but isn’t it, though? I’ll be in a restaurant and I’ll get up and be like, ‘What did I sit in?’ And it was me.”
Sera: “Sometimes babies will point at me. And I don’t care for that shit at all.”
Solas: “So I said no. Y’know, like a liar.”
Varric: “I don’t know what my body is for, other than just taking my head from room to room.”
Cole: “I always thought that quicksand was going to be a much bigger problem than it turned out to be.”
Vivienne: “I don’t care for these new Nazis and you can quote me on that.”
Dorian: “I don’t know if he was discouraging me from being gay or encouraging me to be a classical composer, but that is how he thought to phrase it to a 12-year-old boy. How would that ever work? Like, years later, I’d be in college, about to go down on some rockin’ twink and I’d be like, ‘Wait a second. What would Leonard Bernstein do?’ I never talked to my dad about that, but I figured I’d tell all of you.”
Cullen: “Look, I don’t know never! Fourteen years ago I smoked cocaine the night before my college graduation; now I’m afraid to get a flu shot! People change!”
Josephine:
“So there’s no toilets, and I know that was on your list. But I think I can get them to budge. Let’s go.”
Leliana: “College is just your opinion. Just you raising your hand and being like, ‘I think Emily Dickinson’s a lesbian.’ And they’re like ‘Partial credit.’ And that’s the whole thing.”
I reblogged this once and found $999 on the floor.
Reblog the Money Susie and you’ll have money coming your way too 💵💵
Holy shit I just won the lottery this really works
How do you find $999 on the floor?
I Reblogged The Money Susie Thats How .
DO NOT!!! SCROLL PAST!!! THIS!! REALLY!! WORKS!! i didnt really believe in things like these but when i saw it on my dash i thought, well, why not, ive really been needing money for the new game i want to buy anyway. and i hit reblog. the next day my mom gave me $100 in CASH and when i asked her why she said that she just felt like increasing my allowance!!i dont know if shes going to keep on giving me $100 allowance so im reblogging again just to make sure
Fuck it
Does it work?!!! Or is it a fraud?!
Those Who Question The Money Susie Will Suffer 500 Million Years Of Debt
The real question is why the heck she stuffed money up her nose do you hAVE ANY IDEA WHERE THAT’S BEEN?
peter and shuri develop a tradition where if one of them calls out the beginning of a meme, the other person has to finish it.
he once made shuri yell “your dick is now a noodle” at okoye so she waits until steve finally lets peter hold his shield and yells “THIS BITCH EMPTY” only to watch peter scream “YEET” and fuckin throw the shield through a window
They get Groot in on in it and they both understand him
“I am Groot!”
“I won’t hesitate bitch!”
“They’ve barely known Groot and they can understand him perfectly.” Rocket is both amazed and confused
“Groot how can you know these terran memes? we’ve only been here for two days!”
So I like hot stuff. I’m not like, a dick about it. I don’t brag because there are people out there that can handle waaaay hotter foods than me. It’s not a competition.
So I’m at Tijuana Flats, a “mexican” food restaurant chain famous for their hot sauce bar. All in all, what they put out on the bar isn’t the spiciest stuff in the world, but you’ll find some delicious gems in there.
I immediately look at whatever is marked black as hottest for the day (they change them) and immediately go to pump some into the little paper containers provided when…
“Whooaaa, sweetheart you don’t want to do that,”
I turned around and there’s this skinny guy in jeans and a logo polo. There’s another dude wearing the same shirt, so they must have come here from some sad IT job. I’m a little taken aback at this dude’s presumption that I am ignorant to what I’m doing, but I blow it off.
”Nah, man, it’s got the black label, I haven’t tried this one yet.”
”Are you sure? It’s really spicy.”
”I’m pretty sure dude.”
”I don’t think you should, because it was a bit much for me.”
At this point I’m feeling patronized. I stare at him.
“It’s fine. Really.”
“Oooookay,” He says in this exasperated, don’t-say-I-didn’t-warn-you kind of voice. I get my hot sauce and sit down. Food arrives, I taste it with a chip first to test. It’s super sweet, actually. I dump the whole thing on my taco. I don’t know if he’s watching.
I go up to the counter and ask the manager to ring me up a bottle of the sauce to take home. It was pretty delicious! Manager says he’ll bring it to my table.
They bring it, I pay, and the server asks if I’m into hot sauces – of course I say yes. Hot Sauce Police is now watching. She brings me an assortment of sauces they do not serve at the bar because of liability reasons. One of them was rated at 1.5 million Scoville units. I bought all of them, signing the credit card slip as he watches.
I finished my meal.
Then I looked right at him and licked the fucking paper container when I was done.
theclumsiestninja 