reblog the Don Draper of getting a job he’s unqualified for and you’ll have 10 years of getting jobs you’re unqualified for
YES
No but my dad actually did this at McDonalds in the 70s!
So here’s a true story: my father, sometime in the 70s was looking for his first job. He went to the local McDonalds and told the staff, [manager’s name] said I was supposed to start today. They took his word for it and started training him and by the time the manager saw him and asked who he was, people just said “oh that’s the new guy.”
Somehow this actually worked. My dad worked there for a couple of years as a cook. He even won an award plaque which he had on the wall until the day he died.
Two years ago, in 2016, I made this comic as part of the @megopzine hosted by the absolutely amazing @taiyari ! A second zine might be in the works, I suggest checking out the zine blog if you’re interested!!
I don’t write MegOP a lot, so this was a nice challenge. I ended up choosing TFP because something I really, really like about Megatron in that series is that he seems to begrudgingly admire Optimus Prime, so I wanted to make the comic about that.
Also sorry I had to merge the first two pages because of the pictures-per-post limit on tumblr!
I do this thing where if i have to go to a family event where I will be expected to be a girl I pretend I am a SPY and I am IN DISGUISE AS A TEEN GIRL and my mission is to EXTRACT INFORMATION FROM MY GRANDPARENTS without giving away my real identity. works every time.
your dress and makeup is now a DISGUISE
your ‘birth name’ is now an ALIAS
getting told by your parents to be nice and not yell at anyone being racist is MISSION BRIEFING
your entire extended family are now FOREIGN DIGNITARIES and you gotta make it thru the evening without being discovered as a RADICAL SPY
carrying a small water pistol and one of those fake-lipstick pens in your purse helps to get in the zone. the best part of being a spy is the nifty gadgets everyone knows that.
BONUS if you have to bring a friend of another gender with you to pretend to be your boyfriend. you are both PARTNER SPIES and one of you has to be the cranky but soft-hearted veteran and the other has to be the endearingly-assholeish rookie.
Seems like actually a great way to deal with dysphoria
Shout-out to all the spies who are faced with the world’s most difficult missions.
This is the best coping strategy I have ever seen.
Mancaves: This is a room separate from the house with a large entertainment center and sound system, so no one can hear your existential weeping
Two Sink Bathrooms: Once your husband finds you rinsing out your Diva Cup, the magic is gone.
Hardwood floors that flow throughout the house: This makes it more likely your children will slip while running and maybe die, so you can finally get that divorce.
Open Concept Layouts: If no one sees you, what’s the point of pretending to be happy?
Office Space: Excellent for privacy while Skypeing with your lover in Belarus, the only person who really understands you.
Walk in Closets: You can keep so many clothes in there, it might take years for someone to find the body.
The thing is, my mom swears a lot, and she’s often at home with my impressionable little brothers. So she programmed her phone to type “bitch” whenever she said “B” and “f**k” whenever she said “F.” For a while, we all thought this was a pretty clever idea.
Yesterday, she sent me a picture of my brother sitting in his car seat and crying. The caption was, “he got stung by a bumblebitch!!! ”
honey is the only food product that never spoils. there are pots of honey that are over five thousand years old and still completely edible
i also want to point out we know it tastes the same even after thousands of years b/c archaeologists who discovered two thousand year old honey tasted it. presumably right after they looked at each other and went “what the hell here goes nothing”
I’m pretty sure they also identify human remains by taste. Archaeologists are straight up freaks.
No, no no… you identify bone from rock or other substances by touching it to your tongue. If it sticks, it’s bone. The taste itself has nothing to do with it. And most archaeologists won’t lick human bones if they know they’re human.
…and I realize that doesn’t actually do much to prove archaeologists aren’t freaks.
mai nam is jane and wen i dig i fynde some roks both smol and big i put my tung upon the stone for science yes i lik the bone
I’m sitting with a bunch of archaeologists and we just laughed so hard we CRIED we’re getting tshirts with this on them
theclumsiestninja 