theunnamedstranger:

jumpingjacktrash:

xenoqueer:

nettlepatchwork:

pervocracy:

Note to vacationing non-Americans: while it’s true that America doesn’t always have the best food culture, the food in our restaurants is really not representative of what most of us eat at home.  The portions at Cheesecake Factory or IHOP are meant to be indulgent, not just “what Americans are used to.”

If you eat at a regular American household, during a regular meal where they’re not going out of their way to impress guests, you probably will not be served twelve pounds of chocolate-covered cream cheese.  Please bear this in mind before writing yet another “omg I can’t believe American food” post.

Also, most American restaurant portions are 100% intended as two meals’ worth of food. Some of my older Irish relatives still struggle with the idea that it’s not just not rude to eat half your meal and take the rest home, it’s expected. (Apparently this is somewhat of an American custom.)

Until you’re hitting the “fancy restaurant” tier (the kind of place you go for a celebration or an anniversary date), a dinner out should generally also be lunch for the next day. Leftovers are very much the norm.

From the little time I’ve spent in Canada, this seems to be the case up there as well.

the portions in family restaurants (as opposed to haute cuisine types) are designed so that no one goes away hungry.

volume IS very much a part of the american hospitality tradition, and Nobody Leaves Hungry is important. but you have to recognize that it’s not how we cook for ourselves, it’s how we welcome guests and strengthen community ties.

so in order to give you a celebratory experience and make you feel welcomed, family restaurants make the portions big enough that even if you’re a teenage boy celebrating a hard win on the basketball court, you’re still going to be comfortably full when you leave.

of course, that means that for your average person with a sit-down job, who ate a decent lunch that day, it’s twice as much as they want or more. that’s ok. as mentioned above, taking home leftovers is absolutely encouraged. that, too, is part of american hospitality tradition; it’s meant to invoke fond memories of grandma loading you down with covered dishes so you can have hearty celebration food all week. pot luck church basement get-togethers where the whole town makes sure everybody has enough. that sort of thing. it’s about sharing. it’s about celebrating Plenty.

it’s not about pigging out until you get huge. treating it that way is pretty disrespectful of our culture. and you know, contrary to what the world thinks, we do have one.

redrobin-detective:

I bet in the early days of the Justice League, when the original seven were still trying to work as a team, before any of the sidekicks came, before the Justice League became a giant extended family, the other members would occasionally forget that Batman was a father to a tiny, energetic little boy until they were forcibly reminded.

“I’m afraid we’re going to have to move the budget meeting this Saturday. Yes, I’m afraid something more important has come up. Dick is asking to go back to the Natural History museum for the 6th time this month. He likes the wooly mammoths, they remind him of elephants.”

“Yes I understand, Luthor’s plans need to be… Wait, can you hold on a second Clark?… Dick, I swear to God if you jump off that banister you may survive the fall but you will not survive me, do you understand? Yes, I thought so… Sorry, you were saying Superman?”

 "Flash, act natural, pretend we are in a serious discussion and I am asking for your signature for very important League business and not because Dick has been begging for your autograph since he heard about you joining the team. Dammit Allen do not smile like that this is serious.“

“Get your mind out of the gutter Jordan, there’s a thunderstorm in Gotham and Dick’s stuffed animal was frightened of the lightening. Why else would he be in my bed at 4 in morning? More importantly, why are you calling at this hour causing my rightful cranky son to answer the phone?”

“You’re a magnificent warrior Wonder Woman but motherly you are not. You need to hold them properly, like this, to soothe their fears. Dick likes to be held after a nightmare, you just stroke their head, assure them that everything will be fine, perhaps rock them gently… genTLY DIANA.”

“Aquaman, do you have a moment? Dick’s been feeling a bit lonely at the manor, I’d like to get him a pet but with our busy schedules it needs to be something manageable. How the hell did you did ‘Tiger Shark’ out of ‘Manageable’? I just want a damn goldfish.“ 

“I don’t take your meaning Cyborg I am very clearly doing work here. Yes, that monitor in the corner is always running, it’s just security footage from the house. Yes, I check in to make sure Dick is still safe in bed and he hasn’t been kidnapped or started climbing the chimney again. No, I am not being overprotective, just wait until you have children Victor then talk to me.”

lafortis:

fizzityuck:

fizzityuck:

the only valid naruto meta is the single use clothing sasuke theory my flatmates came up with after a drunken binge of the chuunin exams

“Single Use Clothing Sasuke” is a complex, multi-layered theory borne of the complex, multi-layered minds of my flatmates. It essentially boils down to the idea that Every Single Thing sasuke wears from the day of the uchiha massacre to the day he leaves the village are entirely different yet identical versions of the same two outfits. He only wears them once and then throws them out.

The idea behind this is based on the implications that a) sasuke lives alone in the uchiha compound which is intended to be lived in by hundreds of people, b) he was not cared or provided for in any way by the village adults after the massacre, and c) there are entire city blocks of empty uchiha houses full of free shit just sitting there, ESPECIALLY clothing.

Theory is as follows: sasuke, clearly unable to do his own laundry because he’s 12 and a moron, spends four years of his life using the abandoned clothes that previously belonged to the children in the uchiha clan as disposable clothing and there’s a landfill in Konoha somewhere just full of black playsuits.

Companion theory “One-Shirt Uzumaki” where naruto owns exactly one (1) set of clothing that he furiously hand washes every night at 1am.

you know what this is pretty plausible actually all things considered

unclefather: