Same D&D 5e campaign as the one from earlier, which I (DM) have taken to calling the [Fragmented Entelécheia] Campaign. This is the final session of the 1st season, as we all have to prepare for exams during the following weeks.
DM (me) tells players through in-game NPC (BBEG) they will be fighting a Titan (Essentially a Primordial).
Players: “Hey, we’ve had this axe of Titan-slaying since forever! Let’s hack the dumb thing to pieces!”
It seems the dice are on their side tonight, as the majority of them roll quite high on their initiative checks.
Excitedly, the players begin planning who does what and who attacks as the DM finishes setting the table of self-made maps and 2 cm scale origami miniatures (players are about 2 cm, roughly 1 inch, typical D&D stuff).
Players: “Ok, so there’s the BBEG, there’s his bodyguard, this is where we are, at the edge of the table… hey DM, where’s the Titan?”
DM, sitting closer to the other edge of the table then was strictly necessary, straightens his back, puffs his arms out a bit to appear larger then he actually is, and with a VERY slow gesture, indicates his whole body as an evil grin slowly spreads across his face.
Players: “…”
DM: calmly turns on awesomely epic boss battle music “…”
Players: “……”
DM: casually looks around the table once “So…”
Players: “…… ……”
DM: turns to first player on the initiative order “…What would you like to do?”
Players: “…ABORT! ABORT! CHANGE OF PLANS!!!”
Players versus DM…… literally.
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theclumsiestninja 