Hello Friends! As you know, it is a busy day in politics: The British Election (everyone who follows me on Twitter knows my views), and the whole Comey bit back home.
For those of you who are extremely stressed (understandable), here is a little reprieve: a lovely New England Victorian Home.
Just kidding. You know that movie “Shutter Island”? Well, this is Shudder Hell.
This lovely 1996 home features 4 bedrooms and 4.5 baths, totaling a reasonable 6,300 square feet. It can be all yours for just around $830,000 USD!
Lawyer 80s Hilton Garden Inn Foyer
That’s right folks, it’s a vintage house. For the purpose of this blog, it has aged wonderfully like a fine wine.
Extremely Good Room
I’m sorry, I can’t get over the Live Love Laugh wallpaper border. I just can’t. Such gifts from above only come every once and a while and we must savor them immensely.
Dining Room
I get a kick out of the things people hang in their houses because of Fixer Upper. I wouldn’t be surprised to see a lid from an aluminum garbage can framed by a magnolia wreath on Pinterest somewhere.
Also, aren’t starburst mirrors passé now?
Kitchen
Is it just me or does this kitchen seem inconvenient in general? The dishwasher is far from the sink, the stove is far from the oven and the refrigerator – I don’t know about y’all but I’m a pretty bad klutz so this is maximizing the possibility of kitchen disaster.
Master Bedroom
Addendum:
Master Bathroom
Here’s the thing about these huge excessive tubs: an outdoor hot tub usually only has to be filled or emptied every once and a while, and is specifically engineered to be hot and steamy. An excessive sunken garden tub is engineered to do none of those things and also has to be filled and refilled constantly – a strain on any home’s hot water heater.
Bedroom 2
There was room for a James Comey joke in the “Bureau” bit but i just decided to go with the English lit references instead.
Bathroom 2
Pretty sure I’ve seen such terraced formations in the actual Zelda games.
Also those are excessively sheer curtains for windows facing the street, but it’s none of my business.
Bedroom 3
I know nothing about sports but I was in Boston for the Superbowl, though I was there to go to see the Boston Symphony because, unlike the New England Patriots, I am a loser.
Furthermore, why is the girls room directly connected to the boy’s room without a “Jack & Jill” bathroom in between? It’s just a little strange, is all.
Bedroom 4
What is even the point of those overpriced stuffed animals? What else can you do except look at it, sit on it for a while before getting bored, or intermittently ask it woeful questions like “Why do mommy and daddy yell at each other so much?”
(I’d like to personally take a moment to thank Lemony Snicket for giving me this sense of humor.)
Oh no! We’re out of house! (shockingly no rec room on this bad boy) All that’s left is:
A Very Bad Photo of the Rear Exterior
All that house and y’all couldn’t spare a decent patio. Tsk Tsk.
Well, that does it for Massachusetts! Join us on Monday, where I go into that time in architecture when mainland Europeans anthropomorphized architecture (”Disney Princesses, but they’re all different types of columns”) and Thursday for a Michigan McMansion!
Have a good weekend!
If you like this post, and want to see more like it, consider supporting me on Patreon!Also JUST A HEADS UP – I’ve started posting a GOOD HOUSE built since 1980 from the area where I picked this week’s McMansion as Wednesday bonus content on Patreon!
theclumsiestninja 